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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: JerryRG on September 06, 2016, 09:11:36 PM



Title: Just got this email from my son's mother
Post by: JerryRG on September 06, 2016, 09:11:36 PM
How's (son) doing? What's the plan for this week with him? I will need you to keep him Friday I'm Goin back down to sf for reasons u don't give a ___ about , I will then be be taking him next Friday the 16th until Thursday the 22nd and the 23rd I go to treatment ... .I just bought him $30 worth of clothing I am washing them and it's pants and shirts a winter coat was free and snow pants as well.  There is a lot and I'm willing to leave half with you and half with me until I go to treatment ... .do you have a dresser for him or baby hangers?  If not let me know I have extra of both I can give u ... .

As of now, I'm assuming you are worn out would u like me.to take him tomorrow until friday?


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Not sure how to respond?
Let it go? She hasn't said a word since last night until now, 9:10pm


Title: Re: Just got this email from my son's mother
Post by: fromheeltoheal on September 06, 2016, 09:15:09 PM
When it comes to logistics about your son, I'd respond, pure business, pure timing arrangements, nothing else.


Title: Re: Just got this email from my son's mother
Post by: JerryRG on September 06, 2016, 09:18:08 PM
She's sharing way to much again, she told me last time I seen her in person which was a few days ago that she has been suicidal, can I leave our son with her after she confessed this? She told me, it was verbal, not a text or email.


Title: Re: Just got this email from my son's mother
Post by: fromheeltoheal on September 06, 2016, 09:44:18 PM
She's sharing way to much again, she told me last time I seen her in person which was a few days ago that she has been suicidal, can I leave our son with her after she confessed this? She told me, it was verbal, not a text or email.

I didn't know that Jerry, maybe you said it in another thread, but still, best to do what's best for your son regardless, and if that means not giving your son to a mother you see as unfit, it is what it is.  And of course if you think she is actually suicidal people who are around her should know what she said and they can contact local professionals without delay, and it would be best if you stayed out of it.  And do you think someone who is talking about going to treatment and buying kid's clothes is suicidal, or is it for attention?  Better safe than sorry.


Title: Re: Just got this email from my son's mother
Post by: JerryRG on September 06, 2016, 09:51:34 PM
That's the issue, what can I ever believe.

She said people told her to get help, she said to them, then you call someone and get me help. Blah blah blah

I have no way of knowing anything about her, lies, manipulation, attention seeking or just not rational.

Who knows, our son is safe and comfortable with me. If she really wants him she has that right. This may just be an invitation for more attention and conversation.

She emails late when nothing can be done, except share emails. I will egnore her and if she really wants to care for our son then she knows how and where to pick him up from daycare.



Title: Re: Just got this email from my son's mother
Post by: JerryRG on September 06, 2016, 09:56:44 PM
Thank you everyone

I just had this visual and it was her hiding in tall grass like tigers do, stalking their pray. I'm trying to find her in the grass and see what she's doing and planning and then searching for an escape route so I can get away.

Very difficult to figure out a stratagy when I'm afraid lol

Just a thought


Title: Re: Just got this email from my son's mother
Post by: Turkish on September 06, 2016, 11:22:07 PM
It could be attention seeking,  it could be real.  Hard to say,  and if my ex said this,  I'd be concerned.  I know you hate feeling like she's wrangling you into her issues,  but my response would be to ask point-blank: "that's very concerning. Is our son going to be safe with you?"  Do you know what your legal options are here?  The options might turn out to be requirements on your end if you knowingly send your son into an unsafe situation.  Asking her might be good,  and document it. 


Title: Re: Just got this email from my son's mother
Post by: JerryRG on September 07, 2016, 06:10:16 AM
Thank you Turkish

I'm thinking that if she states she's been suicidal recently that I have a legal obligation to protect our son. She says things like this all too often, no one listens to her anymore.
I wasn't paying any attention to her either.

I don't feel that our son is safe with her at this time.

I will report her suicidal thoughts to the police, child protection and who ever else will listen and protect our son.