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Though I'm confident that I'll get full custody it's such a downer seeing I'm going to have to "keep" his father in my/our life for the next 17 years.

It is astonishing the amount of belittling and passive threats, simply emotional abuse I've been getting. Really trying to bring me down (not  succeeding though) but thinking about it it's sad the things he's saying and claims willing to do to get full custody... .I can't help thinking the damage he would've done to another person that wasn't strong enough emotionally thinking back.

for example, he was willing to do mediation but now he's not. He told me if I take this to court he will most likely win sole custody due to his education and he's "smarter" than me. With that he said (because I do get more mutually agreed child-support then I should by calculation) he will take that away if i get sole custody. Lol. I rather lose money then deal with this!.

Looks like I will take him to court and I'm going to begin that process soon. My question is should I save and print these threats and emotional abuse? Also I have a diary that I started When I first went out with him. Times when he went completely crazy, that forced me to tell him to leave because I was scared for the whole family especially my son. Would that have anything in court? And Leslie I'm willing to take any advice. I am completely over this

All advice is welcomed

 Hi Dontknow88, I am going through this right now, my lawyer told me to print all texts, email's,  any evidence  i have. Anything you have in a journal. In my case I have a journal, it can be argued as hearsay but my journal evidence matches my text evidence. Anything that is to your advantage. I just sat with a court worker this morning so all this is pretty fresh in my head. My xw uses threats as well. She will lie about something and no matter how much evidence I have to prove her wrong, she will cling to that lie. The more you have, especially when they have nothing they get worse. My xw is ruthless and has enlisted her bf as a flying monkey. They resort to what they know, threats and fear

I'm so sorry you have to put up with this too, are you fighting for full custody also?

Thank you for your advice, luckily my journal dose match my texts. My other problem is most of it is on Facebook chat and isn't time stamped

We have joint custody, she is primary care taker. I am going for primary caretaker, hoping for shared custody. 50/50. I don't talk to xw. It's all text. No face book. She's bad enough to lie with evidence. In our settlement conference back in December she had 35 statements on her affidavit, I was able to dispute every one with proof of text, she turned around and backed those lies up with more lies I was able to dispute. It's been hell dealing with her since s9 was born. I've been an exemplary father, I have to fight for every scrap of access and she is getting worse.

Oh wow! Well I hope you get primary caretaker. It's sad that kids have to be apart of this. Hopefully our sons don't get any traits, surly doesn't help when they are the primary caretakers.

You will get it for sure, keep me updated.


Do they know that she's mentally ill? Have you done mediation ?

We did mediation,  a settlement conference. She stuck to the access but everything else was a disaster. Everything has to spelled out or she doesn't comply. She was warned about access so everything else she manuplated, bent and twisted in the order to suit her. We are going back to trial in November.  If she acted like an adult we would be done of it but she just has to manuplate, lie and be all around terrable person.

Xw is not officially diagnosed but we has a parental accessment done by a forensic psychologist and she strongly suggested in her report that xw had a personality disorder. Two T's I been to over the years said they are very sure xw has a PD but they can't officially say.

Oh wow, that is so messed up. Sorry. It will work out for you

When you go to court for custody , from my experience , they do not look at the emotional /physical abuse from one spouse to another.   They look at how that person is as a parent and the work schedules.  And since my kids were older, they went on their brainwashed words that they wanted to live with their dad, my xh.  What he did to me was irrelevant.
And my xh  said the same to me on a regular basis , that "he is smarter than me."

I'm sorry you have to deal with that too.

Do you think me not working right now will look bad to the court? I plan to go back in s year and a half, I want to be with my son.

They are verry belittling people I'm sorry that he told you that too. What custody were you fighting for and what were you granted?


Ok so I know now that what he did to me is irrelevant but what about his  suicide attempts and documented convos with him that back that up?   Would that help?