BPDFamily.com

My daughter was diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago.  It is very upsetting it took so long for the diagnosis.  She was hospitalized at 11 and again at 12 years old with psychotic features.  At that time she was diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features.  She is now 31.  20 years is a long time to get to the real problem.  She was always a sweet person, no violence.  But she had a real problem with impulse control which got her into trouble with the law several times.  She has lied and stole since she was around 11.  I taught my child not to lie and steal, or so I really tried.  I warned her of the consequences but everything I tried fell on deaf ears.  She took out credit cards in my name when she was around 20 for over $10 K and I reported it to the police, nothing happened.  She claimed her poor drug addicted boyfriend at the time threatened to kill her if she didn't steal for him. Then she started stealing from other people and served a year in jail.  You would think she would never do it again.  But I just found out she did it again to me.  She has ruined my credit again and taken everything from my bank accounts and even my retirement funds.  People look at me like I'm stupid, but when your email and regular mail is stolen from you and passwords can be so easily changed she was able to do this.  I hired a lawyer and guess what?  The banks have no responsibility to repay the money because she had access to these accounts!  and believe me, it's not the money I'm so upset with, it's the feeling of betrayal and not being able to protect myself.  I am very aware she has impulse and thought disorders but I am just trying to pay the bills, which I cannot do at this time.  Try going for a week with no utilities. I care deeply for her, but the creditors don't care how sick she is.  I am so grateful that the diagnosis is finally here and that she is very willing to get the help she so desperately needs, I just wish it had come sooner.  I am really hoping she is serious about getting the help and not trying to "get off the hook" with me because she lives with me and I am soo angry.  Now I have to do everything off line of course, and will have my mail send to a P.O. box.  Here's hoping the new meds and therapy will help and things will get better.

My daughter was diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago.  It is very upsetting it took so long for the diagnosis.  She was hospitalized at 11 and again at 12 years old with psychotic features.  At that time she was diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features.  She is now 31.  20 years is a long time to get to the real problem.  She was always a sweet person, no violence.  But she had a real problem with impulse control which got her into trouble with the law several times.  She has lied and stole since she was around 11.  I taught my child not to lie and steal, or so I really tried.  I warned her of the consequences but everything I tried fell on deaf ears.  She took out credit cards in my name when she was around 20 for over $10 K and I reported it to the police, nothing happened.  She claimed her poor drug addicted boyfriend at the time threatened to kill her if she didn't steal for him. Then she started stealing from other people and served a year in jail.  You would think she would never do it again.  But I just found out she did it again to me.  She has ruined my credit again and taken everything from my bank accounts and even my retirement funds.  People look at me like I'm stupid, but when your email and regular mail is stolen from you and passwords can be so easily changed she was able to do this.  I hired a lawyer and guess what?  The banks have no responsibility to repay the money because she had access to these accounts!  and believe me, it's not the money I'm so upset with, it's the feeling of betrayal and not being able to protect myself.  I am very aware she has impulse and thought disorders but I am just trying to pay the bills, which I cannot do at this time.  Try going for a week with no utilities. I care deeply for her, but the creditors don't care how sick she is.  I am so grateful that the diagnosis is finally here and that she is very willing to get the help she so desperately needs, I just wish it had come sooner.  I am really hoping she is serious about getting the help and not trying to "get off the hook" with me because she lives with me and I am soo angry.  Now I have to do everything off line of course, and will have my mail send to a P.O. box.  Here's hoping the new meds and therapy will help and things will get better.

Hi dkgreg2002,

Wow. What a betrayal from someone you love, I'm so sorry for the pain and expense and the effort to try and get your finances in order. BPD does seem to come with a steep price tag, in more ways than one.

How did your D come to get the diagnosis? I have a BPD loved one in my life who was dx'd with major depression with psychotic features, too. She is 19 and meets criteria for BPD, and like your D is sweet and not violent. Does your D abuse drugs? What kind of treatment might she get, in addition to the medications?

Glad you found the site  :)

LnL

Hi dkgreg2002

I'd like to join LnL in welcoming you to BPD parents board.   How are you today?

As you say 20 years is a long, hard journey to finally receive a 'diagnosis', the right support and guidance you and your daughter deserve.

You'll see many parents here working with their teenagers and adult children - like me working with my daughter who was diagnosed last July at 27 years, she is doing well now towards recovery.

Do you have a family member or friend you can talk with, you trust them and they know you well? Have you found the resources, lessons, tools and workshops useful DK, so far?  I've greatly valued the guidance provided me, so do shout out for help and advice at any time.

Very best to you.

WDx