BPDFamily.com

So while I'm struggling to let go of my ex- who coldly broke it off after 2.5 years I found this site. Thank goodness!  It fits him well and he's even said before he may have BPD.  The thing is, how I feel now, the way he has gotten me so confused I wonder if I have BPD.  Yes, I'm moody and can be difficult but I never really thought this of myself until now.  I guess I'm wondering if it's normal after time with a person suffering from BPD you begin to be similar.  I wonder if he has twisted me up so much I'm thinking this OR if it's actually true.

Is this a thought others here have had?

Hey TAB-


Yes it is and yes it's also common to wonder if you have the disorder.  They're called "fleas", borderline traits we pick up as a result of being in a relationship with a borderline, but as you detach and get back to yourself, they will lessen.  Also, the traits of the disorder are on a continuum and we all exhibit some of the traits some of the time to some degree, plus, most of our exes are subclinical, meaning they wouldn't meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis, which doesn't matter really, it's the behaviors and how they affected us that matter.

And isn't that true in all relationships?  We all take on some of the traits of our partners, at least a little?  Interesting too that your ex said he may have BPD; that's rare self awareness among borderlines, where did he get the idea that he might be?  And that's a hint for you too; the average borderline wouldn't even ask the question; thinking you may have a mental illness could trigger more shame, unless maybe it's a way to get narcissistic supply from mental health professionals, might work for fictitious ailments, but what if it's real?  Then what?