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Title: Having a rough day. Post by: PolandSpring4 on September 21, 2016, 03:38:18 PM I was moving some things today, and I found a shirt I haven't worn/washed since she sent some of my clothes back to me. It smells like her house... .the house I was living in just a few months ago. She's getting married next month to an ex she recycled a month after our breakup. I've felt pretty okay for weeks, but these setbacks keep popping up. It's such a struggle sometimes. I was the man of her dreams, and then I did something she didn't like, and she broke up with me in the most hurtful way possible and ran back to an unfaithful and abusive ex in the blink of an eye. I just don't feel as though I really knew her now. I never would have expected this.
The good memories are more hurtful than the bad ones, because I thought I had a lifetime of good memories ahead of us. Just little things... .making her laugh until she cried, watching her fall asleep in my lap at the drive-ins. I think I really wanted to be recycled... .I know that's not healthy, but I still hope it happens one day. I need to find a way to not feel that way I think. I guess I'm feeling a little sentimental today! Maybe it's time to wash that shirt. Title: Re: Having a rough day. Post by: rfriesen on September 21, 2016, 03:51:58 PM PolandSpring,
My heart goes out to you. It's incredibly hard to process the pain and hurt of the break-up while our senses are still lit up with happy memories by smells, images, a sudden bursts of feelings. It will take time to process. Time -- hard to be patient when the pain is intense, but give yourself the time to work it through, and don't put pressure on yourself to hurry it up. As hard as that is. Excerpt I think I really wanted to be recycled... .I know that's not healthy, but I still hope it happens one day. I need to find a way to not feel that way I think. The conflict between mind and heart is very painful. Be open to both your mind and heart -- listen to what your mind knows you need to become healthier, but also let yourself feel the pain and the loss that your heart is grieving. You have to grieve it to let it go. It's hard to be open to pain, but if you can learn to observe the pain -- does it have a size, shape, colour? what does it make you long for? what triggers it? etc -- you'll find strength in being able to face uncomfortable emotions and you'll find your way forward to a fuller, happier life. :) Title: Re: Having a rough day. Post by: Mutt on September 21, 2016, 04:18:28 PM Hi PolandSpring4,
*welcome* Excerpt I need to find a way to not feel that way I think. I'm sorry to hear that. These set-backs are triggers, they're temporary and they'll go away with more time behind you. I understand how difficult these setbacks feel, i think that it helps to talk about them with people that can relate with these triggers. Hang in there. Title: Re: Having a rough day. Post by: Moselle on September 21, 2016, 06:23:27 PM Maybe it's time to wash that shirt. I think that is an excellent idea. It can be a symbol for washing your hands of the relationship and moving on. I find that over time I can look back at nostalgic moments without pain and rather with warmth and appreciation for the good times. It will come with a bit of perspective and time I can assure you that there is new life, exciting life ahead. It gets better. Hang in there |iiii |