BPDFamily.com

I need your help/advice. My BPDex friends are contacting me,  apologizing and saying things like "I don't know what has gotten over him he's out of control, i'm sorry that he did this to you please stay strong" and "I am so mad at him right now that I can't even talk to him" and "how are things with you and him since the break up"


I can tell that he obviously doesn't go into details on what's happening and what happened.

Even with his family I don't think they know that we are going through a custody dispute.



From my research on BPD i'm sure his new girlfriend thinks I'm evil or he gave some sob story on why our relationship didn't work (in his unlogical eyes that is) and she feel sorry for him  and thinks she will be the one to make him stay.



My question is what should I say to his friends that don't really talk to him anymore ? (I will state that I have no problem telling them what's going on but is it worth it?)

Also with his family should I tell his parents that we are going through a custody dispute and all the awful things he says to me about how he should have full custody and not me?

Your advice is welcome to please

Hi Dontknow88,

Do you feel obligated? I don't think that there is a right or wrong here. I think that there is a potential for triangles between you, the friend and family members and in that case I would suggest to not divulge too much personal information about yourself and don't ask too many questions about your ex, stay in the middle by not taking any sides. I think that us difficult to go through a custody dispute, I don't know about you but I wouldn't want additional stress from potential drama added on my plate. I think that the most important thing to focus on is taking of you.

My mutual friends with my took her side and I dud bump into one ex friend that stayed in the middle but that life that we is behind me and I chose to make new friends with my new life. I didn't want to have that connection with my ex, through old mutual friends that really weren't good friends to begin with. I guess a question could be, how much do you value the friendship?

I don't value the friendship at all cause they arnt my friends they are his that he pushed away since he broke up with me (he pushed them away cause they didn't agree with his reasons for breaking up with me, so that started something) so now they are asking me questions cause all they see is a guy going out of his mind doing crazy things.

About his family I think no matter what family will always take family side over the logical side

So I guess you have answered your own question. A polite, it's not something I want to discuss to his friends and zero discussion with his family.   Good luck with the custody. x

Thank you :)

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