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For G with love, to show you I understand, even though you will never read it.

I HATE YOU DON'T LEAVE ME

In your world of broken dreams
Where torment cracks your soul
when all your fears come out to play
And anger takes your whole
I pity you your inner child
and ache to make you mend
But all of this just comes to naught
You do not want your friend.
I see suspicion in your eyes
I see your anger grow
I cannot do a right for wrong
Or even let you know
It is not me that does you harm
Or pushes you away
The more I love the more you hate
Your'e nothing now, you say
And you are opening up the door
And pushing me outside
And yet your hand is gripping mine
Your tears you cannot hide
I stand alone out in the cold
I don't know what to do
My heart is broken, half of it,
I left inside with you
But as I turn so sadly now and quietly walk away
I hate you please don't leave I hear
and once again I stay.

Yes, indeed.

Love LW x

Hi Sadly,

Nicely said. Thanks for sharing that.

Thanks Mutt
I'm not going back though, am staying strong but feel so broken. Poetry helps me.
Love from Sadly x

I understand how that feels and it's good to hear that you've found something that helps you. I felt like people in real life didn't understand how painful it is when you break up with someone with an invisible disorder and all of the dysfunctional behavior is directed at the person closest to them. It was incredibly lonely and invalidating, but I'm sure that they meant well, they just couldn't see what I was talking about. Writing it down on this forum and sharing it with people that understood helped me. Keep writing.

Wow perfectly written and it's what I need today to remind me of what I lived with. Thank you for posting

Aww thank you, that means a lot to me 

This is perfect. Thank you.

Thank you J x

Wow that's really touched me and ive even copy pasted it to a file . Hope you dont mind .

Beatiful poem, Sadly

Keep writing 

Thank you splitblack4good, no I don't mind at all, I feel honoured x

Thanks Jerry, hope all good with you x

As well as I allow myself to be, I get angry at times but I then realize it's just fear and not being in control of my son's safety. Deep breaths, prayer, and go help someone else.

Thanks again, your poetry is extremly well and moving

Your poem is beautiful Sadly and expresses the pain of all this so well. Thanks for posting. It's so incredibly sad that we can't just sit down with our loved ones and sort it all out. So much sorrow.

Hello Lar, thank you. Yes, so much sorrow. My last few days have been filled with grief and loneliness as I believe yours have too. Strong moments as we know we can't go back and desperate low moments as we know we can't go back. Let us hope that the strong moments prevail. Love to you   xx

Hi Sadly, not having such a good day, but staying strong, though wishing I could speak to him. Of course I won't, but it did cross my mind. It's Saturday and they always seem harder. It's also supposed to be spring here (Australia), but we're having a massive thunderstorm so I'm stuck in ruminating. Maybe I'll take a walk in the rain. Hope you're doing ok. Keep looking forward to your holiday. Love and hugs to you too. 

Hi Lar, Saturday here too, a tough one. Is starting Autumn here sunny and nippy in succession, but like me really :) Go walk in the rain love, at least it will make you feel. Xx

I did the same splitblack  :)

It is a beautiful poem Sadly and it resonates on many levels.  Please keep writing and sharing your work. It's far from being annoying it's actually incredibly helpful.  I'm a writer too and one of the things that feels good at the moment is to finally have me time to do that - time that I didn't have when I was with my ex (?).   All the hugs 

Beautiful poem, really connects with the severe pain caused by the push/pull behaviour.

Always feel free to let your emotions flow.