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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: JerryRG on October 05, 2016, 09:01:36 PM



Title: When will I learn
Post by: JerryRG on October 05, 2016, 09:01:36 PM
Took my son to day care this morning as usual, still no contact with his mother.

Got a text around 11, son's mother pickup him up around 10 this morning. (Grandma text me)

After work I stopped by her church to speak to her pastor to fill him in on what's been going on. Pastor was busy, he said come back tomorrow.

Exgf drives up with our son in the back seat, she asks why I'm at "her" church. I told her I came to tell her pastor that she has been ignoring her responsibility to take our son and care for him. (The truth)

She said she had no car, and no phone.

I said she has to start being a responsible parent or risk losing our son.

I asked if she was still considering treatment, she said God healed her. She is fine now.

She told me she was leaving for the weekend, so this will be the third weekend I have our son which is ok but she's doing as she pleases again.

I watched her, got angry and told her "you are fn insane, good luck with that"

I drove away.

Grandmother said daughter picked our son up simply to retrieve her phone she left in his diaper bag, then planned on taking him back to day care for me to pick up. She didn't drop him off, she is punishing me and my son.

She's a Christian? She couldn't contact me in a whole week to explain what she was doing, her intentions about our son and she ditched him on her weekend to have him?

Yes, she's really changed for the best

I can't help but hate what she's doing to our son and me.

I text her mother tonight and said:

Hypothetical? What happens to my son when I'm gone?

She said, I will take him or his uncle and aunt

I said, So you know his mother won't have him in the foreseeable future?

She said, Not unless she changes.

I asked, What do you think she needs?

She replied, I have no idea... .


Why do I just not drive away?

I never learn


Title: Re: When will I learn
Post by: Circle on October 05, 2016, 09:54:38 PM
It happens. You're only human. It's amazingly frustrating stuff. You slipped. I slipped. We all slipped. That's why we are here. Let go of your regret for not performing well today. Then, just get back in to the catcher's position; put on your catcher's mitt. And, start taking the pitches, catching them, and doing it right again. You know what to do: don't jade, don't invalidate, empathize, etc. It's okay to slip. We all slip. Hang in there. We are here for you. We are all in the same boat.