BPDFamily.com

I have been married for a third time for 7 years.  My husband is a member of the clergy as well as a salesperson.  The whole outside world sees him as a wonderful, honest, caring man.  The man I am married to is all of those things sometimes but has "episodes"  wherein he flies off the handle at the smallest things, exhibits extreme unprovoked jealousy, is verbally abusive and demanding.  This can happen with absolutely no warning.  No one sees this side of him but me.  I feel that I am living with Jekel and Hyde.   He grew up in a very fanatically religious home and left at age 17.  At age 19 he got someone pregnant and stayed married to her in what he says was a loveless marriage for over 30 years.  He had an affair with his church secretary and was caught and left the clergy for several years.  He is a very insecure person on the inside but most would never suspect that.  I finally convinced him to seek therapy a few years ago.  He went for 4 sessions and came home declaring that the therapist said there was nothing wrong with him that he just allowed me to push his buttons.    

 

I am completely new to this too but our husbands seem to have a lot of similar traits. My husband also grew up in a super religious home, was married previously and had an affair in his previous marriage. Please read my post which describes how we went to a terrible counselor prior to finding someone who is really great. Good luck to you and you are not alone!