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Well this week has been pretty rough but I have take my first steps.  I have blocked her on FB for good, no really...    It doesn't help knowing what she is doing or not, who she is with or not. What really matters is ME and finding the ME I was before all of this mess started.

 I hurt really bad inside, and still am but I know this fight I will conquer as well.   I was in denial for a long time and didn't want to see it, I thought I had this in my pocket and I was ok until she wrote me again and also knowing she was getting married didn't help.  I saw my inside being sucked out of me slowly, like your soul being sucked out of you from a demon.   I don't want to feel that anymore ...  

I have my appointment to see someone to talk to on Friday...    I think I'll be ok in time...    slowly get myself back again.   Wish me luck! 

I'm not leaving the site... just wanted to make a small post of my progress. 

Nice Grissum!  It seems you've made some decisions and are taking your power back, and good for you!  And have a good time on Friday, celebrate you being good to you, and you don't need any luck, since you're taking control of your future, but good luck anyway!

All the best to you and good luck!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf-ndkggQGU (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf-ndkggQGU)

You will be ok in time Grissum69. Good luck 

Very good realization Grissum.  Dealing with the pain is hard enough without adding more pain by keeping tabs on your ex.  The first step forward to letting go and regaining what you might have lost of yourself in all this is to stop caring (or stop checking) what your ex is doing now.  It won't be easy and when you feel tempted to check remind yourself that you don't want or need anymore pain.