BPDFamily.com

Well... .feeling like I'm coming to terms with the end... .uBPDwf off for the weekend with friend building herself up after long term devaluation now in a state on NC in our own home... .sitting with all the step kids here, sleepover with there pals here, doing all the things a parent would do to bring a home joy... .feeling so low that I've been painted so black... .as I've given this relationship ever ounce of my being... .and I sit here still giving to the clan... .knowing as I type this message this beautiful family and home is on the brink of destruction... .feeling like I'm in some sureal picture... .total out of body experience looking from above thinking "how did this happen?"

You just made a mistake about who he was and is.  That's all.  You are not "black"  you are not "white."  You are something in between, and that's fine!  You are human.  How lovely!  You don't have to be perfect to be lovable.  Imperfect people can be loved.  "Perfect" people have walls.  It will be ok.  You will be ok.  The house is just a house, but where you love, that's home to your kids.

NewStart--that kind of silent treatment pops up and is discussed frequently on here and the improving board. There are strategies for dealing with it. Not blowing its significance out of proportion is the starting place. This is "just" her dysfunctional way of managing her feelings and it won't last forever.

Really appreciate the words and advice here, per my T I am trying to follow a Buddhist mindset and just not react... .I'm doing farly good, but I tend to struggle after a week or so of the silence, the jabs and the expectations.

Really giving it my all this time as it's worse than it's ever been and hearing here that there might be a chance for her to come back around if I'm patient... .well that gives me hope.

Thanks again for the words and advice and yes home should be where healthy love lives... .not just a roof