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Title: So tired of dealing with this woman Post by: thrownforaloop on October 16, 2016, 07:26:43 PM Yet another venting post... .
A couple of days ago, exBPDw texted me with much excitement that she got a wonderful new job and she couldn't believe it. I responded with, 'I'm never going to be your buddy. Please only text me about [my exstep-son]'. She replied, ':)on't worry. I don't want you to be my buddy. I was just too excited for a moment and forgot myself. Bye!'. It just drives me nuts that she doesn't understand the line at all. She can't grasp that the only reason she isn't blocked is so I can hear from my ex step son. Which reminds me... .Nearly every time I get to talk to him on the phone, she tries to insert herself in the conversation. She stays near him and sometimes answers questions for him. Today he called me, crying, telling me how she was being rude and scary. I was trying to figure out what had happened, but then she said, "He's mad at me, because I told him not to let our dog out of the room, and he did, and our dog killed our rabbit." He was clearly feeling sad and ashamed and said 'no' to that. Then she said, "Yes, had you not opened the door, our bunny would still be alive right now!" There is a lot wrong with this. First of all, this boy is only 7 and autistic and he loved the rabbit. The idea that she is making him feel guilty for it dying is sickening. Secondly, she shouldn't have a dog to begin with, considering she gave up our dog to an animal shelter a few months ago, due to 'not being able to afford/keep him'. So to turn around and get a new dog, a few months after abandoning the old one, sends all sorts of mixed messages about the value of living creatures and family--especially paired with how she left me and moved her and her son in with another man immediately--really drives the message home that everyone and everything is replaceable. It's just so repulsive. It's such a tough position. On one hand, I want to be able to stay in his life to provide comfort and support... .but on the other... .I'll never be able to have a relationship with him that doesn't involve her inserting herself between us. I don't know if my trying to contact him is doing more harm than good, since she appears to use him to be able to stay in touch with me. Title: Re: So tired of dealing with this woman Post by: fromheeltoheal on October 16, 2016, 10:06:10 PM He was clearly feeling sad and ashamed and said 'no' to that. Then she said, "Yes, had you not opened the door, our bunny would still be alive right now!" There is a lot wrong with this. First of all, this boy is only 7 and autistic and he loved the rabbit. The idea that she is making him feel guilty for it dying is sickening. Not only that, it's shockingly poor parenting. Now what if he goes to bed thinking he's a "bad person" and that takes root in his psyche at 7. Not good. Excerpt It's such a tough position. On one hand, I want to be able to stay in his life to provide comfort and support... .but on the other... .I'll never be able to have a relationship with him that doesn't involve her inserting herself between us. I don't know if my trying to contact him is doing more harm than good, since she appears to use him to be able to stay in touch with me. That is a tough position thrown. It would be easier if he was older, but it is what it is. Are you getting to the point where you're going to make a decision? Title: Re: So tired of dealing with this woman Post by: thrownforaloop on October 17, 2016, 01:14:29 AM Excerpt That is a tough position thrown. It would be easier if he was older, but it is what it is. Are you getting to the point where you're going to make a decision? Sadly, I'm not. I feel like my exstepson is going to slowly stop caring about me since I'm not around... .so the decision is nearly being made for me. It's absolutely not what I ever wanted. I just pray that somehow he can get enough happiness out of his childhood that he won't be screwed up for life... .I just don't know how I can help from the position I'm in... .especially not with out going crazy into my exBPDw's hellish world for the rest of my life. |