BPDFamily.com

Can they just have traits. My ex has BPD and PTSD. I've heard that you can't be all three but you can have traits of all 3. People with BPD have empathy, but narcissist don't. A narcissist is addicted to supply and a sociopath isn't addicted to supply. A narcissist can go without their supply but they get depressed, but a sociopath can go without. A sociopath doesn't need people.

I believe my ex has these traits, but isn't a narcissist or a sociopath. Hope all this makes sense. I'm just getting my self ready for her possible return so I can do whats best for me.

Hi Willis-

It's helpful to educate ourselves on the criteria for the disorders and the nature of the people with them, it can clear up a lot of confusion and allow us to not feel alone, and not entirely to blame, because a personality disorder really is a "thing".  But there are limits and none of us are mental health professionals anyway, and in the end it doesn't really matter, it's the behaviors and how they affect us that matter.

If you want to dig some more, here's the criteria and discussion of the disorders:

https://bpdfamily.com/content/borderline-personality-disorder

What do you feel you need to get ready for, and I agree, good move focusing on doing what's best for you.

I have it under good authority that she will be coming back at some point. That if I allow for communication she will continue to pop in my life unless I got no contact. I know she's unhealthy for me. I afraid I might have a weak moment when she does comeback. She is sure enjoying the drama she has created. She is only doing things for herself and only worried about her pain. No too much about what she did to me. Once the chatter goes away and people aren't talking about me she will wonder what going on. She will start snooping and see I'm moving on. Actually she probably will see I'm back on dating sites with pictures of me that have her cropped out. I'm unfortunately the one guy in her life she thinks she can do what she wants with and can come and go as she pleases.

Just read about it again. I do feel she has traits of a narcissist and a sociopath, but she has mostly borderline symptoms. She is diagnosed! Her mother is a narcissist so that comes naturally. From what I heard she knows she hurts people and plans to. She knew she was going to cut off all communication and she knows how badly all of this would hurt me. Her care level is a 2/10 if I'm lucky.

So there's the key Willis.  If you focus on your own detachment, look at what you did well and not so well in the relationship, learn the lessons, grieve, heal and detach, you'll get stronger, and the stronger you are the less impact she will have.  Most of us gave away most of our power when we were in the relationship, I certainly did, and it's natural to be wary of and afraid of someone we've experienced emotional turmoil with and who had all the power.  A big part of detachment is taking our power back, are you up for that?

I sure want to be! I'm worried she might seduce me and I'll be back at square one. From my understanding I'm the one who got away from her. I feel like she won't give up without a fight. Like she doesn't want me, but when she's ready she can comeback... .but no one else can have me.

And that's part of it; she can only seduce you if you let her yes?  And someone who's care level is a 2/10 if you're lucky doesn't sound very seductive; if you focus on things like that it will take the appeal away, along with her power.

Exactly! From what my understanding is I won't hear from her from awhile. This will give me time to get strong and the time get myself back out in the dating game. I hope by that time I'm dating someone. I'm the most loyal person and I would never cheat on someone I was dating. I'm hoping all this aligns and I can reject her like she did to me.