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Title: My Husband plays the victim and gets other to sympathize with him Post by: venice girl on October 29, 2016, 10:29:58 PM I am in a fairly new marriage of 2.5 years. It is my fourth marriage. My husband was married fifty years to his first wife. She died of cancer 4 years before we met. I only recently realized that my husband is most likely BPD. I have been seeing a counselor for almost a year. My husband has seen a counselor only once and is going again this week for his second visit. The thing I have the most difficulty with is how he plays the victims and makes other believe that I am criticizing him and that I harass him. He has actually said to me that no one will believe me because I have been married four times... .and he is very good at this. I really don't want to lose another marriage but I also am afraid of the damage that he is doing to undermine my relationships with friends and family. They don't see the side I see. I am writing here because I hope you will believe me. Thank you!
Title: Re: My Husband plays the victim and gets other to sympathize with him Post by: livednlearned on October 30, 2016, 12:34:47 PM Hi venice girl,
Playing the victim is tough to witness, especially when the behavior is one of them being the bully. And then on top of it, to feel defenseless in the face of what are often false accusations. What is he doing to undermine your relationship with friends and family? LnL Title: Re: My Husband plays the victim and gets other to sympathize with him Post by: ArleighBurke on October 31, 2016, 12:24:04 AM This is normal. Unfortunately.
I would HATE to know the opinion that my my wife's co-workers have of me, based on her "stories"! My only thought is that if a person takes what they hear in a one-sided conversation and completely believe it, then they are not really a person I want to associate with anyway. I'd hope that if they spent 2 minutes with me they would start to question what they've heard. But I can't control that. |