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Title: How do you define child abuse ? Post by: BrokenFamily on November 03, 2016, 09:27:53 PM Typically when hearing the term "child abuse" you think of physical violence or verbal abuse, right?
Could the following also be considered abuse ? Having multiple relationships in a short period of time and introducing them all to a three year old who is quite aware mommy sleeps with different men frequently. Maybe it's a stretch legally but providing such a bad example to a toddler is abuse in my book. Title: Re: How do you define child abuse ? Post by: Turkish on November 03, 2016, 10:35:23 PM I'm only dealing with one, the guy she left me for (when the kids were 1.5 and barely 4) then married. Almost three years later, they still are confused. I can't imagine how a 3 year old must view this.
If this is something beyond your control regarding your exW, focus on what your child says. How does your kid feel? What have you said, if anything? Earlier this year, S6 said, "I'm going to get married. Then I'm going to get married again!" This pissed me off, but I tried not to show it. I told him that marriage was for life, but that sometimes things happened (I hated myself for sounding like his mom. ... in retrospect, I might have said it better). He seemed ok with that. Title: Re: How do you define child abuse ? Post by: Panda39 on November 03, 2016, 10:57:07 PM IMO Your ex's behavior isn't ideal but I'm not sure I would call it abusive.
Has your 3 year old said something to you about it or (and I'm not trying to offend) is this more about your own feelings about what your ex is doing? Panda39 Title: Re: How do you define child abuse ? Post by: livednlearned on November 04, 2016, 11:13:20 AM Typically when hearing the term "child abuse" you think of physical violence or verbal abuse, right? Could the following also be considered abuse ? Having multiple relationships in a short period of time and introducing them all to a three year old who is quite aware mommy sleeps with different men frequently. Maybe it's a stretch legally but providing such a bad example to a toddler is abuse in my book. Hi BrokenFamily, This must be so painful. It's not an uncommon scenario to hear about on these boards, sadly. Whatever it is called, it is certainly not healthy and I can imagine you must be worried about the child to see that behavior modeled. In family law cases, it is not uncommon for lawyers/courts to rule that parents should not introduce children to new partners until after a year. It's difficult to enforce, of course. Do you see behaviors in your 3-year-old that concern you? Title: Re: How do you define child abuse ? Post by: BrokenFamily on November 06, 2016, 07:28:39 AM My daughter is currently showing any behavior specifically about her mother's dating habits that concern me. I do realize she gets attached to these men and stays interested longer than her mother. She asks about mommy's ex and calls them by name but I'm not sure she consciously understands at this point.
My biggest concern is my ex neglecting our daughter to spend time with random men on a consistent basis. There is no custody agreement , I have our daughter Mon thru Fri due to making my work schedule around her needs. The mother is only responsible to care for our daughter Sat and Sun (48 hours) while I'm working to support her, unfortunately her mother leaves her with a sitter and goes out to the bar immediately after I drop her off. I'm responsible for health care , clothing , food and all my daughters other needs while her mother hasn't worked in two years since cheating and leaving us yet she can't even babysit two days a week. If my ex could consistently take care of our daughter this two days a week and allow her to call me once a night to say goodnight I would be content. I don't think that's much to ask for , Unfortunately this isn't ever the case. Title: Re: How do you define child abuse ? Post by: livednlearned on November 06, 2016, 07:48:31 AM That must be so confusing and sad for her, to be dropped off and then have her mom go out
It's good that D3 spends majority time with you. It may help her see more clearly that hooking up with multiple men took a huge toll on her life. How do you respond when D3 mentions these men's names? Title: Re: How do you define child abuse ? Post by: BrokenFamily on November 06, 2016, 02:06:50 PM My daughter has a difficult time with separation anxiety as would be expected, she gets upset when I leave for work but I assure her I'll be back soon and she clams down.
I only expect my ex to babysit while I work and allow my daughter to call me once a night to say goodnight. Often my ex ( not wanting to admit she's at bar) lies saying the baby sleeping, this upsets my daughter and myself because I have no idea who is watching her. When my daughter asks about or mentions her mother's exs I'm supportive, they downgrades from me but aren't bad guys at all. I would even welcome any of them to spend time with her. My ex has been in 5 relationships in just under two years all of them ended with her cheating , replacing them and her blocking them on social networks. I'm a bit surprised how men keep falling for her knowing this is how she is but I suppose she's quite manipulative. |