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Title: BPD Mother Post by: Scarlettebegonia on November 04, 2016, 02:59:55 PM Im 31 and my mother has suffered with BPD since she was a teenager. I am so exhausted with having to be her parent. Im so over the drama!
Title: Re: BPD Mother Post by: Naughty Nibbler on November 04, 2016, 04:26:11 PM Welcome Scarlettebegonia: I'm sorry you are in a situation to parent your mother. This is a safe place to share, so feel free to share some specifics when you are ready. It can be helpful to gain the input of others, regarding what tools they have found helpful. We can't change the BPD person in our lives. We can alter the way we interact and react and that can make things better for us. Click on the links below to get to some of the basic tools that can be helpful with handling your mother. You will find that these tools are handy to use with normal people in the workplace and in everyday life: SETTING BOUNDARIES (http://www.httsp://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0) VALIDATION (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation) VALIDATION - DON'T INVALIDATE (http://www.eqi.org/invalid.htm#Two out of three ain't bad) AVOID CIRCULAR ARGUMENTS (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=118892.0;all) SET (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=143695.0) WISE MIND (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64749.0;all) Title: Re: BPD Mother Post by: Woolspinner2000 on November 04, 2016, 08:22:12 PM Hi Scarlettebegonia!
Let me join Naughty Nibbler in welcoming you! You are tired... .take a deep breath and allow yourself a bit of a break for a moment. I know so well what you mean about being tired of all the drama. My mom was an uBPD, and I could never catch myself even for all the running I would do. I felt as if I ran laps constantly trying to meet her expectations as her child and to be her parent at the same time. You are among friends and fellow sojourners who truly do understand, so here I feel you will find some rest and the care you need. Tell us some more about your story. How did you discover and suspect your mom to have BPD? Do you have other family members? If so, how do they handle or see your mom? Looking forward to hearing more from you soon! Wools Title: Re: BPD Mother Post by: scaredy-cat on November 06, 2016, 01:17:58 AM Im 31 and my mother has suffered with BPD since she was a teenager. I am so exhausted with having to be her parent. Im so over the drama! Welcome to the forums. I'm right there with you. Thirty odd years is a long time to raise a parent. And the drama is never ending, because if it ends, well, they tend to manufacture some more. Do you have anyone else in your life who can support you and share some of the burden of dealing with your mother? Some people find it therapeutic to discuss the details of their pwBPD, while others prefer to just read. Either way SC |