BPDFamily.com

Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: I am enough on November 07, 2016, 09:16:44 PM



Title: MY family in a nutshell
Post by: I am enough on November 07, 2016, 09:16:44 PM
Hello!
I'm pretty sure my mom has BPD. She's high-functioning, but has no close friends. My dad is codependent and my relationship with him is also strained.
My parents are very religious and try to use their beliefs as a way to invoke guilt. "Family is most important" is what I was taught growing up, and here I am, looking forward to (while simultaneously dreading) my first holiday season without them.
My sister also has some BPD characteristics, though I wonder if she is just seeking love and validation and that is why she sides with my parents in everything.
Not to mention, my parents were foster parents for 10 years.
So yeah, that's my story in a nutshell... .


Title: Re: MY family in a nutshell
Post by: Turkish on November 07, 2016, 09:57:28 PM
Hi I am enough,

*welcome*

What's the story behind your first holidays without them?  Did you move away,  or just have had enough? 

Is there significance that your parents were Fosters, like maybe they paid more attention to foster siblings than you? 

I hope to hear more of your story and how best we can help.

Turkish


Title: Re: MY family in a nutshell
Post by: HappyChappy on November 08, 2016, 01:57:31 AM
Hi I am enough (like what you've done with your username)

Welcome to the board. My family was similar, my BPD being the religious one. The odd thing about that was my mom would misquote the bible to fit her argument. “Thy must be home after dark”.

My sister also sides with my BPD parent, when I’ve asked her about this, she basically says it’s too painful to talk about it, why dwell on the past. It is hard to accept that your BPD mom has no love for you, and my sister was ignored by our BPD. The BPD dynamic is a tried and tested approach to keeping us serving  our BPD moms.  As for having BPD characteristics, we all pick up traits from our parents, on this board people call them flees. Do you think you sister has flees or is full blown BPD ? Now that you’re aware of this dynamic, what aspects of your moms behaviour do you find most challenging ?