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Title: How do I get over being FINANCIALLY taken advantage of? Post by: michel71 on November 12, 2016, 09:01:18 PM Hello all. So I am processing this. It is going to cost me money to get her out (she says she has none saved... .I know she has it hidden). Basically all our savings will be drained and it wasn't that much anyway. I only agreed to give her $500 for extra moving costs and THATS IT. Honestly it is cost every bit of my savings since I met her. You can read my other posts.
Now I know I am not a true victim; I mean, I loved her and always wanted to help her. Share with her. After all, we were married, right? The problem is that over time I came to realize more and more that she was taking advantage of me. She manipulated me at times and guilted me into it. Everything was on financial back. Even when she could work she didn't. Quit a job because we got into an argument. When she finally did get a job under the table I calculated that she had made about 10k total for 5 months. I only saw $300 of that. I asked her to contribute but she said that it was better if she saved that money and in her words "after all, if I don't save it and give it to you now I will just have to ask you for it back in the future so why not save it". Now she says it is all gone. She can't account for what she has spent it on nor will she show me any bank statements. She will not be transparent about anything whereas I always showed her my statements and even had a budget written down so she could see what came in and what went out. Now she is working as an BSN/RN for a major local hospital. She started that job a few months ago. She has been contributing some but not what she should saying again that she has to save it. She is moving out in December to have another paycheck under her belt; otherwise, I would have to come up with the money to move her. As I said, all I have left of liquid money is the small savings. It is dismal. I resent that I have to give her any more money. I resent her for using me. There are so many examples... .too many for this email anyway. I resent myself for giving to her, giving her the benefit of the doubt, trusting her. I don't know how anybody could use another human being to the degree she has. Yet I know I had a part in it. I was really naive. Now I feel really stupid. How do I get past this? |