BPDFamily.com

Hello

I am the mother of a 19 year old daughter recently diagnosed with BPD.  We live in the UK and have no DBT therapists available in our area.  Also we are on a very long waiting list to get any treatment via the NHS.  I was wondering if anyone has paid for residential therapy in the UK.  How successful did you find it?  Was it horrendously expensive?  Any place you would recommend?

Hoping to find some other souls in the same situation here in the UK, hopefully with experience of a happy outcome.
xxxx

Sending love to all

Hello WorriedOne,

I hope others will share what they know about RT in the UK. I just wanted to say hello and welcome you  :)

I believe mentalization therapy is also practiced (and was developed) in the UK for BPD sufferers. Mentalization is the other therapy (in addition to DBT) that has been empirically researched, you can read about it in more detail in Valerie Porr's book on BPD.

I think Fonagy and Bateman developed it because, as you are discovering, DBT-trained programs are not as abundant, and can be very resource intensive.

Glad you found the site 

LnL

Welcome worried one

I just wanted to say welcome to the forum. It's been my lifesaver and it's somewhere I can feel safe to vent, learn from others who have more experience and knowledge. I try and read and learn as much as I can. I'm very sorry to hear of your daughters recent diagnosis; we just want our children to be well and happy. BPD is a scary prospect and we all have this is common.

I live in the U.K. and my BPDs26 was diagnosed at 24 when he was in the USA. He doesn't seek treatment which is frustrating.

I tried to find a DBT service and could only find them in London, Manchester and oxford (this was £250 per hour!).

I think there's a residential trauma centre in oxford but I don't know if they treat BPD.  There are a number of us on the forum who live in the U.K. Treatment seems hard to access, and even when it's available there's a long waiting list.

Is your daughter living at home?
What treatment is she currently having?
How are you doing following diagnosis?

I'm sorry I can't provide you the information you ask for.  I hope to learn more about your situation and how we can help you if you need it.

Big hugs

Hi there,
My daughter was diagnosed with BPD 18 months ago at the age of 33.  She had gone into crisis after a series of events, some of her own making and some not, which resulted in her spiralling downwards, losing her job and seriously self-harming on numerous occasions.  It transpired that she had been addicted to prescription drugs too and had been using other drugs extensively since being at university where she had her first 'breakdown'. 

She has been in a variety of psychiatric units over the past 18 months.  Usually they immediately de-sectioned her and sent her home.  On one occasion they actually kicked her out more or less saying that she was 'bad' not 'mad'.  It was awful.  One consultant in one of the private hospitals she was sent to said that she needed long-term residential treatment.  My BPDD accepted this at the time then quickly changed her mind and persuaded the specialists that she would be fine to return to her flat in the community.  It was a disaster.  She very nearly died on a number of occasions and I wrote to everyone - Members of Parliament, Doctors, Specialists etc etc pleading with them to take over her care.  I also researched the private route but didn't find anything which was even vaguely affordable.   Finally in June, after a major self-harming event she was referred to the 'Leeds' (?)pathway for assessment for longterm residential therapy and the funding was approved!  Hoorah! 

She is now in a private psychiatric hospital specifically catering for women with BPD.  While it is still early days at least we know she is safe and getting some help.  They do mindfulness classes and other therapies every day and her 'apartment' is beautiful.  They have a busy programme of activities too and psychiatric therapy on an individual basis every week.  My BPDD is alternately very positive and very negative about this place but that is what we have come to expect.  Our shoulders are coming down for the first time in a couple of years.

Please feel free to message me or post asking any questions.  Good luck and lots of hugs.

Hi Worried One and welcome, glad you found us and sorry you are dealing with this and struggling to find treatment locally, how long is the NHS waiting list? 

I live in London. Our journey - following a number of hospitalisations, 28yr daughter was referred May 2015 for assessment at our local NHS mental health centre, this took place July and was diagnosed BPD and put on the NHS waiting list for DBT - told 12-18 months wait.

I did research private and found a private organisation as a bridge, we signed up for 7 weeks DBT skills group and daughter attended, though did not find it very welcoming though she was interested in what she was learning  |iiii I did not find any private residential centres. Our preference was the NHS as we agreed continuity of care and familiarity throughout life was important. Also my daughter had been very impressed by the head of DBT department who assessed my daughter and I met her independently last September because I kept calling her as I was so concerned about my daughter. As the list was so long they set up a weekly 'bridging DBT skills group' and daughter was invited to attend earlier this year.  She entered DBT for real in May this year and assigned a therapist who she gets on very well with. As the list for DBT was so long many on the list were offered Schema therapy that they could immediately take up. Quite a number took it up, my daughter decided to hold out for DBT as per original recommendation. So from the assessment to treatment the wait was 10 months during which time she called on the crisis team a couple of times. In addition daughter was hospitalised in February, she refused to leave hospital so they transferred her to a Women's Crisis Home, where she spent 3 weeks recovering. 
 
At the original assessment my daughter was told after DBT they would reassess and possibly offer schema or mentalization if required. 

I did regularly call the head of DBT while on the waiting list for an update to find out where my daughter was on the list, needed to know she was going up the list, I wanted her to know I was there and present, we were desperately waiting, committed and monitoring! It was a tough time waiting, we counted the time down, we got there. 

Let us know how you are getting on.

WDx