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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: JerryRG on November 14, 2016, 07:36:02 AM



Title: She is, what she is.
Post by: JerryRG on November 14, 2016, 07:36:02 AM
Radical acceptance


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: fromheeltoheal on November 14, 2016, 01:03:31 PM
So what is that exactly Jerry, and how are you going to use it?


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: JerryRG on November 14, 2016, 01:30:04 PM
Thanks fromheeltoheal

Just keeping things simple.

I am alcoholic, I complicate everything.

I have all the facts about my situation

I've learned enough and all I need do now is use the information to my advantage so I can live the best life I can for my son and myself.

I will not waste more time trying to understand someone with Cluster B Disorders.

Time to move on, let go, and accept she's disordered and leave it at that. It's just a fact.

My part in this relationship is all I am responsible for and I choose to get well, stay well and live a good life.

I thank you all for your support, I will have setbacks, that's life too.

Have a great day! 


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: fromheeltoheal on November 14, 2016, 01:44:46 PM
I will not waste more time trying to understand someone with Cluster B Disorders.

Time to move on, let go, and accept she's disordered and leave it at that. It's just a fact.

My part in this relationship is all I am responsible for and I choose to get well, stay well and live a good life.

That's good Jerry, sounds like detachment.  Now what are you going to do to get back to that place when you get triggered and need to vent about her next time?


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: JerryRG on November 14, 2016, 01:55:12 PM
Good question

I will keep working on acceptance of her disorder and do what I'm told to do in AA, Church and what I know is right.

Just got home from an AA meeting, I read "Love and tolerance of others is our code."

The healthier I get, allow myself to be, the better I can deal with my son's mother.

Because of my codependent behaviours, people pleasing, "approval sucking" as one member puts it, I lost myself, my choices, my attitude was determined by others. I gave away all my power, I'm taking back what belongs to me.

I'm learning to accept myself, love myself, and taking good care of myself, physically, emotionally and spiritually is my goal. I am as well as I alow myself to be.

I have all the tools I need, time to start using them and stop asking others to do the work for me.


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: DazedandConfus3d on November 14, 2016, 02:55:29 PM
Wow!

Awesome to hear that man, I wish you way more than luck.


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: DazedandConfus3d on November 14, 2016, 03:40:29 PM
I will not waste more time trying to understand someone with Cluster B Disorders.

Time to move on, let go, and accept she's disordered and leave it at that. It's just a fact.

My part in this relationship is all I am responsible for and I choose to get well, stay well and live a good life.

I thank you all for your support, I will have setbacks, that's life too.


This is goddamned beautiful. 

It's exactly what I'm striving for.

I wish you way more than luck, brother.


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: JerryRG on November 14, 2016, 07:12:07 PM
Thanks DazedandConfus3d

I'm so tired of her renting space in my head, my life.

I listend to a video yesterday, this guy explained how they got into our thoughts and it's time to kick em out.

Life's too short and precious to allow one more minute of thier nonsense.


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: Herodias on November 14, 2016, 07:45:56 PM
Good for you Jerry... .I hope this goes well for you! Hope you are feeling better too.


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: JerryRG on November 15, 2016, 09:54:45 AM
Thanks Herodias

I'm finally getting over the illnesses, feeling pretty good.

Life is good.

My son is beautiful

Have a great day! 


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: LostInMemories on November 15, 2016, 06:51:25 PM
Thanks DazedandConfus3d

I'm so tired of her renting space in my head, my life.

I listend to a video yesterday, this guy explained how they got into our thoughts and it's time to kick em out.

Life's too short and precious to allow one more minute of thier nonsense.

First of all you inspire me, and I wish you the very best of luck!

Could you share this video maybe? I'm really curious what it might do for me.


Title: Re: She is, what she is.
Post by: JerryRG on November 15, 2016, 07:13:36 PM
Thanks Thijmen156

Here's the link

https://youtu.be/o8w6PH7vwZk