BPDFamily.com

My friend just recently had me borrow the book "stop walking on egg shells second edition"...

I am trying my best to reverse the breakup with my BPD exboyfriend. I am also trying to co-parent with him as we have a 9 month old daughter.

There's a lot to discuss from... him things going very well... he stopped having physical fights w strangers and such... put me first to... cheating on me, my getting pregnant and him saying I ruined his life... to getting back together and then him constantly saying he "loved me but was no longer in love anymore". He has very low selfesteem... his mother has stated that he always has had that.

His uncle committed suicide in his 30s and his mom stated that she sees a lot of her son in her brother.

He was in a motorcycle accident in June and I took care of him and all he wanted to do was drink and he got very depressed and said he was sorry for ruining our relationship and that it was all his fault. But STILL "Not In Love" Even Though He Said He'd Never Leave us.

One night... after nights in a row of not coming home til late after being out w friends drinking he got very very drunk and started  blaming me for how he was feeling. All my fault for not having a job yet after having a baby and my fault for my fibromyalgia and bringing up my past q an abusive exhusband and how maybe he was right and saying I was crazy... the list went on and he said he wanted me to pack my stuff and get out!

I called his parents and they came to get my daughter and I. He drunk drove to a friend's... but he truly truly lost it.

Ever since that night his moods change... lately he's been more talkative and he sees our daughter and spends time w us but hasn't ever said about working things out. He said he's better off being alone... yet I see he's been bad mouthing me to other women he's been chatting with when he accidentally left his cell phone at my place when visiting our daughter.

Now he's gone from saying he isn't seeing anyone and he spending most of his free time supposedly wmy daughter and I. He now wants us to stay on the phone plan even after he demanded me get off it and wants us around during the holidays... .

I truly feel I'm dealing w dr jekyll and Mr hyde... he's lied to his parents all the time and I've realized now he's lied to me plenty too. He even told his mother I got off birth control to get pregant and that was entirely false.

Please... anyone who's going through this w a child and who still has feelings for their BPD and debating on trying to get back together or how to detach for the health of myself and my daughter.

Hi and welcome!

There are many people here living in situations such as yours, and YEARS of experience.

There are skills you can learn to help you communicate better with him, and "detach with love" to stay healthy yourself. This page contains many lessons: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=36.0

It can be a bit overwhelming, but start reading! I'd suggest Validation and Boundaries to start with.

Also, post specific situations and conversations ahd we can help you to develop strategies.

I'm pretty new here too. I think a difficult part to understand is that many of these rapidly changing behaviors are about him more than about you. Take care of you first. Take time for you, understand where you came from and accept yourself as a person who deserves to be treated with respect and boundaries. His actions are his. What he does and says is not your fault. And you cannot choose for him to actdifferently . You can only choose what you will tolerate. And now you are thinking of what is best for the baby too. Read here, read stop walking on eggshells also.