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Xw always accused me of not protecting her or standing up for her. No matter how good I was to her she made life miserable for me, especially when it came to my family. Xw said my sister wouldn't talk to her and said horrable things about her all the time. Xw had me going around like a yo-yo. My sister had enough of my than wife's accusations and wouldn't talk to her. Xw also turned on my mother, again with horrable abusive things she would say about my mom. Xw would not let up on her abuse, made life unbearable  in our house. Made me choose between her and my family. I loved my xw and was dedicated to her. I was always trying to find a solution to our problem but she get sarcastic and abusive, she had a list of rules for me in regards to my family.as long as my family was on the scene, life was miserable for me. She would rage at me that I couldn't protect her or defend her. Yesterday in family court xw bf was by her side, she lied bad under oath, xw lied about things her bf was witness to. What is protecting your loved one? Xw bf is standing behind her lies, xw left me and said I chose my family over her, I didn't choose my family over her. The harder it tried to resolve conflict the worse she got. Is xw bf the better man than me for standing behind her even though she is bent on destroying my r/s with my son and bf knows she is lying under oath. I would find it very hard to stand behind such lies. I loved xw, tried to resolve, tried to prove with unconditional love. I did not feel it was fair to make me choose between my family and her. Now she is creating a conflict between her bf and I, where no conflict should exist. I'm a good father who just wants to be with his son. If I was an ahole, harassing her or stocking her than I would understand but I don't want anything to do with xw.

busboy,

Just continue doing what you know is right by yourself, your son, and your family. Her current bf, is just a pawn, used to meet her current needs. She is only capable of doing what she FEELS is necessary to win what to her is a game. 

Stop playing and don't get involved in playing. You're capable of knowing what's right for you're son, she isn't.  As for her current bf, he'll eventually realize what he's dealing with.

Standing up for somebody? Great question.
Say somebody says something bad about somebody you know, but statement you know it's not true. Defend the accused by saying, no he's or she is nice. He or she wouldn't do that. Or no! That's not true. Or he or she is my friend, and so on. Or don't talk about him or her like that bc he or she is good people and so on.
Hope is what you meant.

Was an issue w/my ex and I. On my end, people would have negative comments about our r/s. I would stand up for us. Do to the fact ONLY I on my side knew what my ex and I had. I defended us regardless of third party comments.
On her side, she would eat it all up. I asked her to stand up for us. Defend me. Defend us but woman couldn't stand up for herself, much  less for us. Thought she was tough. Wasn't aware of her lack of assertiveness and complete lack of boundaries. Not at all thinking that would have saved us. Only my definition.