Title: How can I protect 18 y.o daughter from NPD/BPD Parent Post by: fsoduck on November 22, 2016, 03:23:48 AM My BPD/NPD wife and I are separated. My BPD/NPD wife keeps making what I consider to be dangerous financial decisions - buying a very expensive luxury car ($75,000 car loan) and has gotten two mortgages in the last three years to buy investment properties. She is now in the process of trying to buy a third and she is failing to qualify for the mortgage for another investment property. Her mortgage broker hinted he might get her approved for a residential mortgage, so now her latest machination is to have our daughter - who turns 18 in less than a month - as the primary signer on a new mortgage that she co-signs. I have told BPD/NPD wife not to do this that she is endangering our daughter's future by doing so by: a) making her responsible for a debt; and b) possibly committing mortgage fraud. I have told my daughter not to sign anything. However, I do fear that my daughter may be subject to pressure from her mother - with whom she lives and is dependent for food and shelter while she finishes high school. It is not possible for her to live with me as I am not nearby.
I have already talked myself to the mortgage banker and told him in he should not in any way go forward with this plan, even if he can get it approved. My question is whether there is anything I can legally do to prevent BPD/NPD wife from forcing my daughter to sign on to a mortgage when she is over eighteen. I will be contacting a lawyer today to see what my options are. Title: Re: How can I protect 18 y.o daughter from NPD/BPD Parent Post by: david on November 22, 2016, 02:05:57 PM I have no idea what you can do. I would be interested in knowing what your attorney says. You might want to talk to a real estate attorney too.
If you find out what the consequences are, maybe you can bring your daughter to an attorney to let her hear for herself all the consequences of signing legal documents. The attorney may be able to spell out things on paper to give to your daughter too depending on what all the consequences are. An independent outsider may have more sway with her because of the pressure she may be getting. Title: Re: How can I protect 18 y.o daughter from NPD/BPD Parent Post by: fsoduck on November 23, 2016, 05:08:40 AM It's almost too transparent, as NPD/BPD DW is asking to do the closing on DD's 18th birthday. Note: DD has six months left in high school, and despite being a legal adult, is fully reliant on Mom for food and shelter and, hence, the power differential and potential for coercion is great. All points I wish to bring up with attorney.
Title: Re: How can I protect 18 y.o daughter from NPD/BPD Parent Post by: david on November 23, 2016, 05:21:11 AM If she does sign the papers on her 18th birthday and it all falls apart she probably has a good case against her mom. I think it can be argued that she was under duress. Also, can you prove that you spoke to mortgage banker. This would keep you off the hook in any way because you tried to prevent the fraud her mom is perpetrating. Talk to your attorney about that. Perhaps you have to send a certified letter to the mortgage banker. My ex would try to suck me into her messes if she thought she had a way.
Title: Re: How can I protect 18 y.o daughter from NPD/BPD Parent Post by: fsoduck on November 23, 2016, 09:13:44 AM Yes, I could get him to testify if need be. However, he already told NPD/BPD wife that this wasn't going to work and that he would not get involved after I called him.
Title: Re: How can I protect 18 y.o daughter from NPD/BPD Parent Post by: david on November 23, 2016, 12:00:19 PM If you can get the banker to call daughter and explain that what is going on is not ethical,legal, not sure of the proper term. For me, having an outside authority helps defuse the chaos since the only one my ex wants to get is me. She will listen /back down to anyone else. Lucky me. I have strong boundaries set in place and she knows it. She still tries to test them occasionally but I don't waver. Makes life easier.
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