BPDFamily.com

So, this seems to be the current pattern.  I get sick, he flips out in some way. 

I picked up a cold from his mom this Thanksgiving.  She did not tell us she was feeling ill, but I overheard H's dad telling his mom she must have "caught it from her friend".  Sigh.  We avoid visiting if we can when they or we are sick, just so no one catches anything - H usually ahs no sick leave and so cannot miss work, and I have a lot of responsibilities and can't easily miss, either.  His parents have compromised immune systems and are in poor health already, and we don't want his dad on oxygen to catch a cold from us, but they often neglect to tell us they are sick until we arrive.  I know it's partly because they really want us to visit and know that might affect it.  It's not like we'd have stayed home anyway, as we are the only "kids" who visit for Thanksgiving and help cook and drive, but I guess I'd have been more diligent about my vitamins and such. 

Anyway... .I caught it, H is convinced he will get it (I'm not so sure, we were exposed at the same time, the incubation should be about the same, and he had just recovered from a cold the week before).  Since I woke up with a bad sore throat Sunday, he's been poking at me to try to start a fight.  Being rude. Making rude comments and accusations about silly things, like accusations of cheating (he claims they are "ribbing" when I call him on being rude) in a game we played with friends, calling me names, accusing me of not listening because I don't think he's important, etc.  Overall, he is very rarely conciliatory and helpful when I am sick, it's almost like he resents me being a little out of commission and I feel he's upset that me being sick inconveniences him.  He's also upset that I have sick leave and am working to save it up, or go in on days like today when I have a federal report due, because he burns through all his sick leave and often all his vacation each and every month.  So my having leave on the books I think irks him, and seeing me go in feeling like this I think he takes as some sort of martyr/guilt trip - it's not - I just have something to finish that is literally due to be Fed Ex'ed today, and no one else can step in and do it for me.  I became a minor department head of sorts and so have responsibilities that mean I come in and try not to touch too much and stay away from people while I finish my tasks. 

Yesterday, I made a silly and stupid decision, and yes, rude for someone with a cold:  I drank out of the milk container.  I had pills in my hand, left my glass in another room, and just wanted to wash them down quickly, and I should not have done it, but I did and he walked in.  Apparently, this is the most rude, mean, selfish and disgusting thing he could ever imagine me doing, I must also think I can spit in his food, steal his toothbrush, and I got an earful for about 2 hours after, along with threats to share my disgustingness on social media.  I don't really fear being shamed like that... .just hate how it will make him look like a jerk.  I don't really know how common it is for someone to drink from a container in the fridge that no guests ever touch... .but since most of my friends are moms, I think they've seen the gamut of unsanitary behavior.  H is a germaphobe at times (you can never tell when it will matter).  This is one of those times. 

I realize part of this is that quite possibly he IS a little sick himself.  I'm just tired of having to manage MY emotions when I am rather ill, very tired, can barely speak, and he gets to be an angry toddler when he feels out of sorts. 

Sorry, I just come here to type it all out and get it out.  It helps me keep myself in better check later.