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Title: Hello Post by: DuskToDawn on December 01, 2016, 10:16:20 PM Hi everyone, this is my first post and I've recently realized that my ex has PBD. We've been together for a few years and at first I thought my ex was just really moody or maybe had bipolar disorder but it just didn't make sense. Learning about BPD has been a relief because I finally have a name to fit with the symptoms and behavior. The cycles of pushing me away and wanting to get back together and the daily mood swings (even when things are good relationship wise with us), have made me feel like I never know what to expect. We always get back together after she pushes me away, but I'm at a point where I can't keep going back if nothing changes. I'm hoping I will be able to find a way to talk to my ex about BPD and get help.
Title: Re: Hello Post by: drained1996 on December 02, 2016, 10:56:59 AM *welcome*
Hi and welcome DusktoDawn, sorry to hear about the ups and downs you've been dealing with in your relationship, we understand. That's a common theme you will find here. To the right of this page you will note tools and lessons that you will find of great help along the way. Something else I felt helpful was looking through others stories and the subsequent responses on the threads. It let me know I was not alone in my struggles and it gave me a lot of insight by seeing others respond with suggestions and their own experiences. I see you're thinking of getting some help... .many here have found therapists to be of great help in navigating issues that come with BPD. I will however suggest NOT to bring up BPD with your partner. Firstly, we are not trained to give a diagnosis, secondly giving a label to the problems will feel like blame to your partner... .and nobody likes to be blamed... .even if it's true... .especially BPD's. I would suggest finding a therapist who works with personality disorders and going to that person as a couple. Allow that therapist to professionally guide you both. This suggestion comes from my own personal experience... .and learning from my mistakes. Another thing I learned is that we cannot change them (that's up to them), but we can change how we react and communicate with them and doing that with the tools and lessons provided here can have a very positive impact! You've found a place full of people who understand, as we have walked a mile in the same shoes. Feel free to share anytime, I found sharing to be very therapeutic... .and the more I shared the more I got in return. We look forward to hearing more. Title: Re: Hello Post by: DuskToDawn on December 02, 2016, 11:26:20 AM Thank you for the warm welcome!
Title: Re: Hello Post by: Mutt on December 02, 2016, 11:47:11 AM Hi DuskToDawn,
*welcome* I'd like to join C<||| drained1996 and welcome you. Your partner's reality is as real to her as yours is to you, she doesn't have anything else to benchmark her reality with, if you think about someone approaching you, even with good intentions and they tell you that they think that you suffer from mental illness, it can make the symptoms worse and you might take offense? That being said, anxiety and depression is more widely known and accepted in society, BPD carries a heavy stigma, BPD can be comorbid with several mental illness's, and anxiety and depression being one, most people that suffer from BPD have an underlying clinical depression. if you choose that route, you may be able to get her to see someone for anxiety and depression, another route is that you only need one person to change, that could be you instead of her, when we change, it's like a cascading effect, everything changes. Keep us posted :) |