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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Sluggo on December 12, 2016, 08:43:13 AM



Title: Custody Eval back- Good news- now wife got new lawyer. Should I be nervous?
Post by: Sluggo on December 12, 2016, 08:43:13 AM
I just got custody eval back and it awarded me 50/ 50 time with wife (previously on prelim I had just a few days a month).  Custody eval referenced mental illness for stbxwife, called what wife doing emotional abuse to kids with alienation, and had a provision in the order stating that any future interference with my time with the kids by her will result in full custody.  I felt vindicated

She just got her 3rd new lawyer (other 2 quit case /or fired by her).  With the custody eval very specific, should I be nervous that the eval will be overturned or limit my time less than 50%?     What should I expect from here? 


Title: Re: Custody Eval back- Good news- now wife got new lawyer. Should I be nervous?
Post by: Thunderstruck on December 12, 2016, 09:03:33 AM
Congrats!

There's a possibility that the L could try to overturn the CE. The argument would have to be something along the lines of the CE not acting in an unbiased/fair fashion. Of course, if the judge or BPDmom picked the CE then there is a near zero chance of that working. The new L could also try to get a 2nd opinion from a different CE, which would be a way to stall (and run up costs).

We had a case management hearing several years ago and it specifically laid out what would happen once our CE was completed: either both parties agree on a PP or have x days to submit their proposed PP, they have x days to complete mediation, they have x days to prepare for trial (assuming mediation fails).

So, I'd say your next step is to get into mediation. The CE is now your bargaining chip for mediation. You don't need to settle for anything less than 50/50. If mediation failed and you had to go to trial, there is a strong probability that the judge would order something near to what the CE recommended.


Title: Re: Custody Eval back- Good news- now wife got new lawyer. Should I be nervous?
Post by: ForeverDad on December 12, 2016, 09:29:38 AM
A custody evaluator's report is a recommendation to the court.  Generally it will be inclined to follow it.  Her lawyer could contest it but possibly it would be an uphill task since the CE is considered a professional expert and it could take another similar professional to challenge it.  If court doesn't follow it and fails to clearly identify why not, then you could have a case for reconsideration, objection or appeal, whichever term applies.

It's possible she might want to settle, likely that would be her lawyer's advice to her.  However, do try to get the report not just accepted by the court but described in court, especially the conclusions and recommendations.  That is, get it "on the record" so it can be cited later when you're back in court.  (Yes, odds are you'll be back in court again in the years to come, perhaps more than once, so plan ahead.)

My 'mistake'... .On Trial Day my ex finally, after two nearly years, said she wanted to settle.  Courts love settlements, lawyers love settlements, so we settled.  The CE report was sealed and held by the court.  It was never read in court nor distributed to the lawyers.  We all know the initial report from months before heavily favored me and stated something like "if a settlement (Shared Parenting) is reached but fails then Father should have custody". However, when it turned out the settlement was failing, that my ex was still too entitled and controlling, I went back to court but by then (about 1.5 years) the court said the report was legally stale or outdated and would not be unsealed.  Yes, I still walked out with custody but it would have been more helpful and reassuring to have that research and those recommendations available.


Title: Re: Custody Eval back- Good news- now wife got new lawyer. Should I be nervous?
Post by: Nope on December 12, 2016, 04:54:31 PM
My experience with a BPDm getting a new lawyer has been that she needed someone new to sell her version of events to and needed someone who would tell her what she wanted to hear, no matter how badly it conflicted with the reality of the situation. I've also seen her get a new lawyer because she needed to blame her old lawyer for the situation rather than take any responsibility.

A lawyer's job is to fight for what their client wants. So if she is unwilling to accept the recommendation then then the lawyer will fight the recommendation. The only way to get it ruled on is to ask your lawyer what the next step is and follow through to get your case heard. But I wouldn't be too worried about a new lawyer. I found that the BPD's lawyers got worse, not better.


Title: Re: Custody Eval back- Good news- now wife got new lawyer. Should I be nervous?
Post by: Sluggo on December 12, 2016, 06:27:23 PM
Thank you Thunderstruck, FD, and Nope for the input! 


Title: Re: Custody Eval back- Good news- now wife got new lawyer. Should I be nervous?
Post by: soundofmusicgirl on December 13, 2016, 03:36:50 AM
Sluggo, congrats to the very favorable custody evaluation. I am surprised that there are custody evaluators who actually catch on to parental alienation.
We had a custody evaluator that was heavily biased in BPDxw favor and we had most of the report thrown out due to the fact that the custody evaluator never really interviewed my husband nor me. She met with BPDxw several times and with the kids, but with DH and me she met for all of 45 min. And that is what she based her report on.
When the judge heard that he decided toss out most of what is said in the report and gave my DH way more visitation and rights then it was recommended in the report.
My DH had also submitted plenty or evidence for parental alienation (BPDxw telling the kids that she will find a replacement Dad for them). The CE decided there is no evidence of parental alienation.

Maybe after all is said and done you should publish your state and name of the CE so other families can benefit from it on here :) I have heard to many reports of CEs simply not getting it.