BPDFamily.com

Hey Guys,

New chapter of my nightmare:

This is my best effort to condense my very long story, any advice on what to do is hugely appreciated.

First off, I'm a Canadian going through the divorce from hell in the U.S. with an uBPDx.

I moved part time to the U.S. so that I could get custody of my son, as I'm quite sure his mother is mentally ill. I was right... .currently I have 100% custody (temporary) and a psych eval showing mother his mentally ill.

When I moved here, I hired a lawyer that was awesome at advertising, but pretty terrible at lawyering. I think my old lawyer definitely has Borderline traits.  Unfortunately, it too me 6 months and $30,000 to realize how bad she was. She made many mistakes in my case that have costs me tens of thousands of dollars. She also hired her own business accountant as my forensic accountant, he was useless and cost me $3000 just to get rid of him.  Then I had to hire a professional forensic accountant through my new (much better) lawyer to prove that I have minimal income from my small business.

My old lawyer had me work in her office to help pay off my debt. She showed me confidential information from several of her other cases. She asked me for my "expert advice" on a case of hers that's related to my industry of work (via email).

When she initially suggested she pass me off to another lawyer, I was hesitant, but as soon as I met the other lawyer, I realized how terrible my first lawyer was. I switched quickly thereafter. When my first lawyer sent my second lawyer my file, there was at least one other client mixed in with my file... .  (I have photo's of this)

The whole thing was a joke. On top of all this, her bills were astronomical. Far higher than my new lawyer who has done 100 times as much work and had the same amount of success in my case (she's the one who got me 100% custody).

My old lawyer sent my outstanding bill to collections and I received my first call today. They are claiming I owe them roughly $3,500.

As a Canadian without a S.I.N. is there anything they can actually do to me to collect that debt? And if not, should I even bother fighting this if they can't do anything?  Of note, the collection agency also has a Canadian office.

Also of important note: I'm in the process of getting my U.S. citizenship, but I don't have the interview until early 2017. Currently I have no green card or anything tying me to the U.S. financially.

I'm also open to other suggestions about how to back off my first lawyer with all of the messed up stuff she's done, including sending her a bill for my "expert advice" and letting her know that if she pursues this debt, I will let the bar association know about how she mishandled my case (including photo's of the wrong file in with my file).

Any advice is hugely appreciated.  This is the last thing I've needed on top of this nightmare.

FYI - I'm not a personality disorder or a victim or anything like that (I've got a psych eval to prove it).  I just eloped with a really damaged person and now all of these lawyers are bleeding me of every penny not only I have, but also my family.

Thanks for taking the time to read/reply.

Duck

My first lawyer has also had me walking her dogs as a means of paying off debt.  She gave me a bunch of winter clothes for my son no more than 5 days ago.  I actually still have her house keys... .  this collection agency was totally out of the blue.

From what I've heard about her from her junior lawyers (one of whom I had a one night intimate encounter with) she is very up and down, and screams at them all the time calling them losers and idiots etc... . 

If this sounds too crazy to not be my fault, I completely understand, but I really did not do anything to bring this on.  The one night encounter I had with her lawyer was after my new lawyer had taken over the case.  I'm only mentioning it in case I can use it to get her to back off.

I just spent $20,000 yesterday on GAL, lawyer, and forensic bills.  I can't afford another $3500 for a lawyer who did nothing but make my case 10 times worse... .

How about negotiating? Offer the collections agency 10% and haggle as needed.

Check with the State Bar in the state your former attorney is licensed.  In my state it is considered an ethical violation to send a former client to collections -- I can sue a client for fees, but I'm not supposed to use  collections agency or report them to a credit reporting agency. 

Additionally, my state bar offers mediation services between lawyers and clients to deal with fee disputes.  My bar is very stringent about making sure that the fee not be outside the ordinary.

Thanks very much!  I'm in Florida and will look into it.  Will also try the 10% route. 

Does anyone know if there's anything a collection agency can actually do to my credit if I don't have a SSN?

Collections will effect your credit... .Can you get your better lawyer to sue the first lawyer for anything? Maybe she would forgive the debt if you threaten to get back money from her bad advice. Not sure, but might be possible. Good luck. We do seem to be in their mercy when you don't have a clue how this works. My lawyer actually told me my ex could have sued his lawyer for some things he did wrong, so seems to me it may be possible. You would just have to find a lawyer willing to take it on... .at least send a letter- that could be enough. A BPD lawyer- sounds dangerous!

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My better lawyer said not to threaten or sue her because my case is still active and it could negatively affect me... .  I've spent $150,000 so far, so $3500 is not worth the risk of ducking up the 150... .

Basically once again I'm held hostage by my kid.  This system is the ethical equivalent of blood diamonds. 

It's a judicial system that developed over time, not a justice system.

There are limits on what you can do to improve your situation, can you use other parts of the system to your advantage?  You're forced to work within the system, your complaints are well founded but my most important point is that it's your choice whether to view yourself as a helpless victim or reverse perspective and be proactive for yourself and your child.