BPDFamily.com

My ex sister n law is a narcasstic mother to my 9 yr old neice anyone going through this or advice ?

Hi Tech Mom, 

Most people on this board have a family relation with BPD. As those with BPD have quiet predictable behaviour and habits, you should find most people on here can relate to your experience on one level or other. What aspect of your sister in laws behavior, do you find most challenging ?

Hello, Tech Mom!

My advice might be short given, but given it must!

Any experience I have in this sort of situation isn't necessarily one I can elaborate on quite clearly, simply because of my minimal experience in this area, not as an adult in the situation, but as the child.
When issues with my mother began to rise considerably fast, my aunts were there to care for my sisters and I. They helped support us, gave us reassurance, and helped us out with food, clothes, school supplies, etc., when we were solely living with my mother, and not my father. Not only did this help open my eyes to the situation at hand, but it helped me understand things quite clearly, as well as form an even tighter bond with my aunts.
What I suggest you do, is be there for your niece. They're (most likely) too young to understand what's going on, and won't for quite a bit of time. Support and reassurance can do wonders in helping them through life, so keep an eye on them, as well as their mother, to make sure everything is alright. I hope things get better for you, your ex sister in law, and your neice!

Hi Tech Mom,

I'd like to second Mister Watson's point,  in that you being a safe person to be around goes further than you might see at this point.  I had several people like that in my life,  and it didn't even rise to the level of talking about my mother,  but rather than them being people around whom I could relax and be myself without getting yelled at or smacked around. 

What kind of contact do you have with your niece?

T