BPDFamily.com

Hi,

I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that BPDs portray to you what/who you want. Is this true?

Does this mean that I never knew this woman, and does that mean there's someone out there that i can be just as happy with?

 

Hey butters,

OK, I'll take a crack at answering your questions:

1.  PwBPD will often mirror you, which feels good.  They may take on your interests and passions as if their own, which fosters a close connection.

2.  Yes, there's someone out there with whom you can be just as happy, if not happier!  Whether you really knew her is something only you can answer.

LuckyJim

spot on. i found my ex was extremely proficient at triangulating on what i liked/wanted in a bf, and when he wasn't raging/dissociating and behaving good, he would portray what was my ideal partner. down to the most minute details. 

he wouldnt nec adopt my same interests or taste in music/entertainment/food etc.  he just knew exactly what to say to hook me in and make me feel i'd never find a more compatible partner.

Of course, when he went the opposite direction, he was the least desireable partner anyone could ask for.  cheating with just about anyone, abusive, rude, emotionally unavailable, and on the rare occassion... .completely psychotic and paranoid.  those were not fun... .but I was, in his words, the only person who could help and would end up diverting vast amounts of time from work, friends, family to support him in those very very frightening moments. 

prob lost my job and a lot of friends to those types of things and the overall attention demand.  Having a psychotic person show up to your work, slice their body up, blame it on you, then hit you in front of everyone... .not a good look.