BPDFamily.com

Hi! I lead a small non-profit with one employee whom I suspect has BPD. This person has led a smear campaign among our constituents including several board members, including an accusation of harassment/bullying. I was investigated and cleared of those allegations, but I still face termination due to the potentially irreparable damage done to my reputation, and my insistence that the employee be terminated for levying false accusations. Advice? Should I fight and go on a "counter campaign" to restore my credibility, or take my licks and move along leaving this nightmare behind me?

Hi momof, 

*welcome*

I'd like to welcome you to  bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that. I can relate with a smear campaign and it is tough and can be relentless. It helps to talk to people that can relate with that. The good news is that it will eventually die in off but the less attention that you give to the other person the faster it will behind you.

You're not sure if they're going to terminate? There's a chance that they won't. Can you maintain radio silence with this coworker or is it really embarrass with what was circulated around the office?

Have you talked to HR?

Another factor to consider is that the more you defend yourself the more the other person may persist in badmouthing you.  That is called negative engagement, it gets you nowhere and could even ramp up the discord.  Frankly the person may do it no matter what you do.

Ponder what boundaries you will need with this person.  Since this person won't pay attention to boundaries, then boundaries are for you.  Ponder when, where and how much you'll need to respond, or not.

When I was divorcing my then-spouse I asked my lawyer whether I could file for libel or slander, he asked back, "It's almost impossible to prove intent and very expensive to try."  I dropped it.