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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: jhkbuzz on December 24, 2016, 03:02:37 PM



Title: Just saw my stepdaughter...
Post by: jhkbuzz on December 24, 2016, 03:02:37 PM
It's been about a year or so since I've seen her. She's 21 and a college senior.

Her mom and I began our r/s when she was 11 and we split when she was 19 and away at college. I've tried to keep in touch with her - but sometimes it's been hard because I'm not always sure that she wants to stay in touch. I can't tell. I didn't know if the breakup made maintaining a r/s with me awkward, or if she was just young and busy and on the run like I was at her age.

After she received my Christmas gifts this year she texted to ask if I wanted to meet her and her boyfriend for lunch. I did, and it was wonderful. It's amazing to think that the little rebellious 11 year old I met all those years ago is now a wonderfully poised and intelligent young woman who seems stable and happy and successful.

Her mom started cheating on me when she was 15. I couldn't bear the thought of ending the r/s because I wouldn't just be throwing my ex out; I'd be sending my stepdaughter out into the world with an unstable mother who had little idea about how to parent her or set boundaries. I wanted more than anything for my stepdaughter to have a stable childhood and not have any horror stories to tell.

I took on a tremendous amount of suffering in order to shield that little girl. Four years of hell, in fact. Not having much contact with her since the b/u made me wonder if all of the pain I bore was worth it.

It was, it was, it was. It makes my heart so, so happy to see her today; to know that I was able to provide the stability she needed. The stability that allowed her to grow up into a happy, healthy, young adult.

Merry Christmas, everyone!   


Title: Re: Just saw my stepdaughter...
Post by: DreamGirl on January 03, 2017, 03:18:34 PM
I love this so much.

Stories like this help make it all seem worth it.