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   <-------me, celebrating the end of this holiday.

I had really been dreading it, and I'm still feeling a bit on edge... .but I made it.

Didn't even consider contacting my ex, so that was good. Saw her family pics that she posted on social media (first year I wasn't in them) and it got to me a little. She looked really good and really happy, & knowing what I know about her history with holidays it's hard not to feel bitter. Nearly every holiday we had together was sabotaged in some way. First year without me and she makes it look like she's livin' the dream. I know better than to believe the image created online though, and at any rate I do hope she had a nice holiday. I'd feel much worse imagining her sad... .I'll take this over that.

The photos made me a little upset, but I tried to use that as motivation to have a good time with my family. It's the first year in forever that I didn't have to split up time with them, and I was able to see some friends too. It did hurt to look at other family members [happily] with their significant others & kids, but I also tried to focus on the fact that as much as I miss her, there is at least peace this year. No raging, drama, threats, conflict... .there is sadness, but no danger, panic, or hysteria. I'm trying to see the silver lining, hard as it may be. So another holiday down - just a few more to go and I'll be free of special occasions for a while.

How was your holiday for those of you who celebrated?
Although I don't know any of you personally, I thought of this group today and have been wishing the best for everyone.

Hi JJacks0 

Congratulations on getting through what you saw to be a dreadful and edgy holiday season.  :)  It's a relief when things don't turn out as bad as we expect.

I think it's good that you didn't consider contacting your ex. Holiday atmospheres can have us moving back into patterns that aren't quite good for us in the long term.

I wish you the best for the end of the year. It's been a quiet and restful holiday season for me.  :)

It was terrible for me. So glad it's over. I got some random sbusive text that is from exBPDbf new gf or one of her friends. Sat at home with my mom. Didn't do anything. She has her own mental issues and I'm trapped here with no money or car since exbf threw me out of our home. She pretty much isolated me from everything. No outside job or car.

Anyway sorry to use your thread to vent. I'm just glad it's over and tomorrow is a new day!

It's been horrible for me and I'm so glad it's over. Random breakdowns. Everything reminds me of her. 3 mos no contact after 2 years together and her pressuring me to marry for much of that time. The rs was a terrible roller coaster and after 6-8 mos of being beaten down I started raging back. She immediately found a replacement- something she said repeatedly would never happen. I know I'll b better off in the end but part of me wanted to hear from her despite what a horrible human being she is.

Good job! The holidays are tough for anyone missing a loved one.
Stay strong.

I managed to fake it through most of the day. Only broke down a few times but in the bathroom and not in front of my daughter. Kept a smile on my face but essentially suffering inside. Thought about my wife pretty much constantly, flashing back on the last 5 years. By the evening though my wife had unblocked me from texting her and actually texted me that George Michael had died and that "life is short". A few texts thereafter. I responded but she remained cold.
I am glad Christmas is over. Then its the New Year. A year of healing and hope.
God bless all of us who are going through a breakup over the holidays.

Hey JJ

I too am glad it is over because this time of year is tough for me.
Better for you if you stay away from social media, and good for you recognizing how fake it is.
Peace is far more important than most people realize.

Yes!   

tammym1972 I hope your situation improves and you find peace.

Thank you!