BPDFamily.com

I read some good posts tonight and good replys. I read the line emotional chaos and it brought back memories of the craziness that went on between xw and I in our home. It's hard to believe someone can go off the deep end behind closed doors and act so nice in public. I also read how hard many of us worked to show our partners we were good people. I brought back the memory of trying so hard and desperately waiting for xw to see me as a good man and tell me she loved me but that day and those words never came. How cruel it is to withhold affection.

One of the most difficult parts of my relationship was coming to accept I did all I could do. Because I failed I blamed myself, thinking someone else will make her happy.

The fact is, no one can make another person happy.

No one can love mental illness into wellness

It's a trap to believe the next person will have the answers because if the pwBPD don't seek help from trained professionals I'm not sure anyone less would have much positive affect.

While I wish I would have validated more and reprimanded and blew up less, it wouldn't have mattered in the end as this person was an explosive, miserable, negative, condescending victim. She will never be happy because she will never seek help because that would be admitting there was something wrong and she would NEVER!

I love what you said JerryRG. " no one can love mental illness into wellness"

I like that as well because love has nothing to do with it - I have to see their misery as a well that can never be filled, it seems to be am illness of 'emptiness' which is sad but 'emptying my well will not fill theirs'

Duped 1 i think we dated the same girl haha. My xBPDgf is exactly how you described.

I know how you feel. No matter what I did or tried to do it was interpreted in a negative way. After so long when she should have known better she was still disparaging my character. I'm struggling the fact that what I did was not completely wrong even though I did make mistakes. The problem is that due to her illness and warped thinking it just did not matter. There was something missing inside of her that no one can fill.

Aesir, that's how I feel, Xw has something missing inside of her.