BPDFamily.com

I was doing so much better until Christmas. Now I'm missing my exBPDbf. It's been over two months since he left me and kicked me out of the house we shared. Yes I remember all the bad things but I'm laying here alone in the dark and missing his arms around me. When will the crying be over?

Take each day as a new day, it will get easier I promise. A trick I used to use on myself was to allow myself half an hour each day to feel that pain, the missing and to wallow in it, any other time I started to feel it I would tell myself it wasn't the right time and I could only have those feelings at the allowed time. It took time but I finally found I stopped looking forward to the time and sometimes I would think I just can't do it today.

Hang in there, and definitely use this forum as much as you need.

Louise

I'm 2 months NC since he turned me black and never contacted me again. I miss him so much too. But writing stuff down, working on my own codependency and talking to a therapist are the things getting me by.

3 mos NC and missing my exgf terribly despite the lying and betrayal and how awful the 2 year roller coaster was.

Crying is what pain leaving feels like tammy.  It will be over when it's over, and when it is you will be pain free, but in the meantime, as you move forward with your detachment, try shifting the focus from him to you and from the past to the future.  Have you developed a vision for your bright future?  Once we do that, and make it big and bright to it's compelling and pulls us towards it, and then take one step in that direction, and then another, going on faith initially, but after a while we notice progress, which creates momentum, and before we know it we're living that life of our dreams.  And an upside of that, when we're living from our values and completely alive, we get mighty attractive, so it may not be a goal right now, but once you get to that place you'll have your pick of suitors, one of which will wrap his arms around you and treat you well, the complete opposite of how your ex treated you.  It's a brand new world, one day at a time.

Thank you for the kind words everybody! I felt like I had made so much progress but starting crying again, I'm taking it one day at a time and I'm so thankful for these boards!