BPDFamily.com

My girls are 4 and 7. Cut off contact with BPD mom 2+ years ago. She is delusional, and an alcoholic and impossible. She made my childhood through to mid thirties hell. I wanted to give her a chance with her granddaughters but the crazy continued.

In the last two months she's called repeatedly demanding to see them and says she has a right to do so. But I cannot allow this. She tells lies, doesn't respect my boundaries and I cannot risk her damaging my kids.

Does she have any leg to stand on legally? My sisters left the province to get away from her, she's been in rehab 6 times and in psych wards at least 5 times. A common way to "reach" me if I wouldn't speak to her would be to take an'overdose' then have the cops or paramedics call me. She is simply toxic.

Are you in Canada? It varies from province to province,  but based upon what you said,  she going to court doesn't seem likely. 

www.grandparents.about.com/od/Grandparents-Rights/tp/Grandparents-Visitation-Rights-In-Canada.htm

I'd default to what you are already doing,  which is protecting your primary family.  I also wouldn't telegraph any knowledge you may have about her legal rights.  That's in her court, no pun intended.

Being kin, however,  can be hard if the authorities contact you.  I've been there. 

What event resulted in you cutting contact with regards to your daughter?

My mother left when I was 11 or 12 and when she reached out to me after college I foolishly allowed her to convince me that all my memories were wrong and she hadn't acted as I remembered. I really, really regret getting back in touch with her ever. She did do damage to each of my children- tried to drive my daughter into a second suicide attempt and tried to drive my son, at a different time after years of no-contact, into a nervous breakdown.
The hell of it all is that now my ds is married to a woman exactly like my mother. My hell on earth ended with her death in January, but his is continuing and it's affected both his son and daughter.
I can tell you that in most states in the US there is really no such thing as grandparent's rights, that the courts have held that in the absence of legally proven incapacity to parent, that the parents remain totally responsible for their children's wellbeing, including who ever they are allowed to associate with.
I suggest you tell the "authorities"  who contact you when she is having problems that in the absence of her iincapacity as documented  by 2 physicians you are not legally allowed to intervene in her life in any way. That's what I did in the last few months of my mother's life when she attempted to manipulate me with various health crises.  As far as her then dying, I regret nothing.

I hope 2017 is better for all of us.