BPDFamily.com

Hi, I am in a situation I could use some help. My X girlfriend was diagnosed with bi-polar schizophrenia at some point. She is 37 and a mom of a 12 year old son. I am quite sure she has BPD, she hits ALL the requirements. We have gone back and forth multiple times the last 2 years. Been apart for 4 months and she showed up at my house. She was not able to control the conversation so she stormed out. Said she had lost everyone and didn't know who or what she was. I was gray rock... the next day I had text her and called her out on ALL her crap. Tried to hit all 5 weaknesses... I hate to be that person.!... She said she would block all text and e mail... .That was Thanksgiving... .We both hovered the last 2 years. I have also blocked her. She has stalked me at my gym throughout. Haven't seen or heard from her since Thanksgiving... .I need to be done... .Does anyone think that hitting her fears means she is done too... .We have always said horrible things to each other but for some reason this time seems real... I really loved this girl but I have to love me more at this point... .

Hi Iceg I just had a similar situation with my exBPD, I called her out on most of the things that have happened over a 8 year period and told her bf what was going on. She told me prior to this event that she would not fully paint me black, well I got 2 weeks without hearing from her before she called Christmas day. Saying she forgives me and she never expected me to do that. That I am the only one that puts up with her crap, so basically she let it slide this time that's how I look at it. I went full nc after Christmas, it's the only way. If you really want it to be done you need to stop it on your end go nc.

Thank-you for responding. I have been through all the same stuff as everything I read. It is just a little un nerving to keep looking over my shoulder. She is also un medicated except for lots and lots of pot. ( her only true love)... I have read so much and even went to a couple of therapy sessions. I know the drill between narcs and empaths... .I knew her for 2 years prior to dating, hard working and friendly. Very sweet... .When we started  dating and became intimate things changed. Insain jealousy.!... I asked her what happened to my girl.? She said " We slept together, now I own you"... .I actually thought it was cute... .For awhile... I am 17 years older than her... .

I know how you feel, my ex used to smoke but now she just dug herself in a hole. We where engage a few years ago living together I left then. I came back to her worse then ever with two kids now. I had the same thing happen when I asked my ex the same thing, plus some other scary things she has said. I found out from the last month talking with her about BPD and are relationship. She said ''I wish I did have a kid with you because you would be mine for life'' plus 3 months back she said she wanted to do evil things to me. My opinion and others, we are objects to them to fill there need when they need it. When they are done they get rid of us, then there are some of us they like to keep around for life because we are good supply.

Keep working on yourself, therapy is good I go myself. If you are really ready to let go, nc is the only way. I broke nc more times then I can count, it never got any better. If they are not doing the self help, there is nothing you can do for them. I gave my ex a dpt therapy workbook, before thanksgiving she told me thanks. I asked on Christmas did she do any work from the book, she said no. She is relying on meds, therapy and docs (which I don't believe half what she is saying) to get better. She started this up because that's what I wanted to hear to keep me around.

Welcome iceg

It all depends on her emotion of the moment and who is available as to whether if/when you will hear from her.
Loving yourself at least as much as another is very important, kudos to you for recognizing this.

My ex. stalked me for some time, as long as I gave her ANY attention she continued trying to hold onto an attachment with me. Total NC on my end eventually stopped the contact attempts, but they usually try again at some point; the key is absolute detachment so it doesn't affect us anymore.