BPDFamily.com

First off, I apologize for any grammatical errors.

My mother has BPD and I've gone no contact for about 15 years.

I have two siblings, but I'm in a rut with them. They still treat me like the way I was treated by my mother, the way she encouraged us to treat each other is still very prevalent.

Long story short, I'm about to cut all ties with my siblings. This will leave me with no family at all. I wish to run from everything. I'm having a difficult time with this. I just really wish my siblings could treat me with some respect and just accept me for who I am. They are very critical of me, even on trivial things, like politics, news, etc. They don't like who I am and criticize whatever I like. They are never happy about any of my achievements and they undermine my relationship with my nieces and nephews. They cast me in a bad light with my nieces and nephews. They set me up for failure and then talk about me as if I'm a no good aunt. I'm not allowed to speak up or stand up for myself or it turns into a huge fight.

I'm really struggling with this as I feel I'm bullied a lot. I fear standing up for myself and I feel defeated most of the time. Anytime I've tried to stand up for myself it's turned into a huge fight and so I've just shut down as any discussions will be futile. I believe that I've reversed any gains I've made. It feels like a back slide.

Is there anyone out there that can share with me how they were able to drop baggage like this?

I am where you are.  My sisters have adopted the narcissistic ways of dealing with me that my father has.  My therapist says no contact is best.  This will also leave me with essentially no family.  I don't have any real advice; just wanted to let you know I am with you.  When I talk to my sisters on the phone; I listen to them brag about their lives and then listen to me for about 2 minutes and then its on to them again.  I can't trust them with painful details of my life.  I have debated emailing them about my pain to see if they can respond with empathy.  I am unclear how I will proceed.

I am estranged from my family for similar reasons. It has its challenges but overall it was the right decision. There are ways to deal with high conflict people but with my siblings it became to much work for to little reward. Now I just keep my distance. BIFF responses when approached directly and complete avoidance otherwise. I think seeing a therapist really helped me. She explained that family is supposed to treat us better than friends and strangers so if I would n't accept it from a stranger don't accept it from a family member.

www.highconflictinstitute.com/biff-responses/78-hci-articles/published-articles/87-responding-to-hostile-email