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Title: On the phone 10 hours a day - not a moment to myself Post by: wallsaroundme on January 02, 2017, 04:36:36 PM My husband gets me up with him at 5am each morning. I make his coffee and lunch and say good-bye. And then he calls me.
He keeps me on the phone literally from the time he leaves in the morning until he walks in the door at night. We both have headphones in and he just keeps me on the phone all day. He is in construction. So it's loud. I work at home and do freelance writing but it's hard to concentrate. I used to meditate daily but he thinks that's worthless and I don't need time to do it. I asked him for 30 minutes a day to myself but he got made and shouted at me to go be with someone I actually wanted to spend time with then. Every 5 minutes he asks what I'm doing or why am I so quite. (i'm on the phone right now and he's asking!) I don't even feel like myself anymore. I have no time to myself. We take showers together. If he has to go out to his truck, he takes me with him. I'm so tired in the morning. But I can't go back to bed - because he isn't able to. He stays up til midnight at least and I have to stay up with him or I'm just a granny, etc. I don't even know who I am anymore. How can I get him to give me just a few minutes a day to myself? Title: Re: On the phone 10 hours a day - not a moment to myself Post by: Naughty Nibbler on January 03, 2017, 11:20:18 AM Hi Wallsaroundme:
What you describe is abuse. You can be abused, without things getting physical. In your prior thread, we discussed a safety plan for physical abuse. Without your husband getting physical, you are still being abused. You describe yourself as a prisoner. You aren't locked in by chains, but by fear and intimidation. I think you are in the US. The link below is to a Domestic Abuse Hotline. They have a "Chat Button", so you could initiate an online chat with someone. Perhaps you could share your story with someone who specializes in helping those who are abused. You could copy and paste most of what you shared above, into a chat window and quickly initiate an online chat. You should be able to engage in an online chat, while still on the phone with you husband. It could be valuable to gain their input. Here is the address: www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/ The quote below is from their website: Quote from: www.thehotline.org Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner does many different kinds of things to have more power and control over their partners. If you’re beginning to feel as if your partner or a loved one’s partner is becoming abusive, there are a few behaviors that you can look out for. Watch out for these red flags and if you’re experiencing one or more of them in your relationship, call or chat online with an advocate to talk about what’s going on.
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