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Title: Detachment from MIL with BPD Post by: TDeer on January 03, 2017, 07:52:50 PM How do I learn to ignore the bull my mother in law does?
I sent a gift over for Christmas and she now sends a second card to just my husband. How do I stop caring? It's major bull and i hate it. His dad made it a point to send a thank you card to me and my husband to make up for his BPD mean wife. I used to be friends with her before I started dating my husband. What the heck Title: Re: Detachment from MIL with BPD Post by: Naughty Nibbler on January 03, 2017, 08:26:21 PM Hey TDeer:
Best to avoid arguments and practice RADICAL ACCEPTANCE (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=90041.0;all) The best thing you can do is to NOT react. She may have SPLIT (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=62033.0) you out of a FEAR OF ABANDONMENT, (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=47237.0;ALL) as a result of you marrying her son. I understand that you just want to lash back at her and hurt her like she has hurt you. That behavior will only make your life a battle field and give you more misery than you can ever anticipate. The best revenge is to NOT react, as that is what she wants. Don't feed the beast. Note: Click on the green words to get to the lessons. Title: Re: Detachment from MIL with BPD Post by: Woolspinner2000 on January 03, 2017, 09:28:55 PM Hi TDeer,
Welcome to our online family! You've come to the right place to find support for the challenge of dealing with your mil. There are many others here who will be able to relate very well and share their thoughts as to how they've dealt with similar situations. I am very sorry that you have to deal with this at all. It is pure misery for you, I imagine. It sounds like she is being hurtful to you. How long has she been a part of your life? Does your husband see her behavior as being a problem at all? Here is a link that may encourage you and help you to not feel so alone. https://bpdfamily.com/content/Dr-Jekyll-and-Mr-Hyde (https://bpdfamily.com/content/Dr-Jekyll-and-Mr-Hyde) BPDs are tough, as you well know. Please share as you can. You will not be condemned for sharing your thoughts here because we are on this journey together with you. Have you had time to read any of the information here at the site? Wools |