BPDFamily.com

A few things I have heard (or read) about BPD. The suicide rate for people with BPD is 10%, 4 times higher than the general population.  30% of people with chronic pain have BPD. The statistic that I couldn't find is what percentage of people with BPD seek and are successful at getting treatment? how many people are affected and never get diagnosed? (yeah, I know that would be a hard statistic to find (like how many rape victims never report the rape)). I suppose what I'm really wondering is statistically, how bad is my situation? SO diagnosed with BPD years ago and is in denial (also shows symptoms of High Conflict Personality), has chronic pain (that no one wants to treat because of her addiction issues), talks about death or suicide on a daily basis (But I'm the one who needs mental help, (and I do)).

MyFathersSon

Hi MyFatherSon: 

Has you wife consulted a pain management specialist?  I believe there are some newer meds used for pain that aren't addictive.  It might be worth checking with a specialist, versus a primary care doctor.

Don't get too hung up on statistics.  The averages won't necessarily pertain to your situation.  Has your wife attempted suicide?  Has she ever talked about a plan/specifics?

If a particular suicide threat seems real, you can always call for emergency services and she will be taken to a medical facility for evaluation.  It is a tough situation, if she talks about suicide daily.  It could be hard to tell if she is serious, or seeking attention.

If your wife won't get treatment, not too much you can do about her.  She has to be responsible for her own emotions and behavior.  The thing you can manage is yourself, the way you interact with her and react to her. 

Have you checked out any of the lessons to the right of this post?  The Basic Tools, under the category "What is the first step" is a good place to start.

Are you getting therapy for yourself?