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Title: painful memories Post by: DPN3 on January 05, 2017, 02:03:12 AM Can anyone relate to this scenario?: my mother fit the queen/witch profile when I was growing up. She did some really disturbing things to my three siblings and me. Despite this, somehow I've managed to create a close relationship with her as an adult woman.
My mother has changed a lot since my childhood, but every so often the monster rears her ugly head. I tend to really withdraw when this happens, and will experience flash backs and feelings of revulsion. I've tried to forgive and give her additional chances, but it wears on me, and sometimes I doubt my own judgement. I only just started reading and educating myself on BPD, so I have a lot to learn. The thought of losing my mother scares me, but so does having a close relationship with her. Title: Re: painful memories Post by: HappyChappy on January 05, 2017, 08:36:03 AM Hi DPN3,
Yes I can relate. My mom is the Queen/Witch type and yes she did plenty of disturbing things to us also. I also get flashbacks ( I have C-PTSD ) and I use to be scared of losing my mother, but having had time to heal, not so now. So all I can say is, I felt the way you do now when I first realised about BPD. But the good news is, with therapy , support from this website, and generally understanding it all better, things are a whole lot better. You can go low contact LC or NC with your mom for a while. These are all viable options. It is also worth noting that if you trigger or get flashbacks, this is more likely to happen if you are generally stressed. So one boundary I now have, is I control all contact with my BPD. Not on her terms, it’s on mine, because someone with a PD, has a natural inclination to attack you when they see you at a low ebb. So never present a weakness. Please feel free to ask questions an explore you understanding via this forum, there’s a lot of experience on here. Without exploration, we tend to stay where we are. Feel free to ask questions or share experiences, BPD tend to have quiet predictable patters, so many on here are more than likely to relate. |iiii Title: Re: painful memories Post by: DPN3 on January 05, 2017, 08:53:20 PM Thank you! I like your suggestions Can't wait to get myself up to speed.
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