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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: earlyL on January 05, 2017, 06:39:16 AM



Title: Coping with cheating...
Post by: earlyL on January 05, 2017, 06:39:16 AM
Does anyone have any advice on coping with cheating?

I recently found out my partner has been in a physical relationship with someone else and has emotional feelings for them, but wants us to stay together. I want us to work through this and I feel I am being patient and giving us both time and space, but I often have wobbles and feel extremely angry, I want to move on from this but I also know is probably a natural reaction, does anyone have any advice or experiences getting through it.

Thanks,

LW


Title: Re: Coping with cheating...
Post by: Oncebitten on January 05, 2017, 09:09:49 AM
LW

So sorry to hear that you are going through this.  Cheating both physical and emotional is a tough thing to go through.  You said that your partner wants to stay together, but what do you want?  Once that question is answered then you can work on coping.  I would suggest you take some time and create some space and think through this with a clear mind.


Title: Re: Coping with cheating...
Post by: earlyL on January 05, 2017, 09:45:06 AM
Thank you, I really appreciate your response. I have finally been able to have some space, we had a difficult Christmas together, not my choice as I felt we needed space, but perhaps in hindsight it was good to spend some time together. But it was hard. She is due back this weekend and although I feel clear in my head I want this to work, I also know I am hurting and will struggle to always be so clear, I probably need to just take some time out when I am feeling that way. It feels like a difficult balance of not wanting to push her away but also be clear what my boundaries are.


Title: Re: Coping with cheating...
Post by: Oncebitten on January 05, 2017, 10:15:35 AM
LW

In this time you need to define your boundaries and what you are willing to accept.  And if she wants it to work and wants to remain together then she will respect that and allow you your space.  Just be clear with her that you are not abandoning her or put space between you two to punish her, but it is something that you need to do for you.