BPDFamily.com

The more I think about it... the more I find that my exBPDgf is like my father.
Not much to say about him.
What he does is do his own thing but is emotionally unavailable, only does what benefits him (and for me actually) BUT is never really there for my mother especially when she needs some help with certain responsibilities. He treats me alright though in regards to  providing material things. He's very stingy with my mum but with me he is happy to provide anything. I always found that unfair and wasnt sure if my parents were in a loving relationship. Of course I asked them that and they insist they are happy and love each other. But yeah, hes not really there caring to get to know me or my mother or makes any effort to spend time in developing closer/real emotion connections. He is a workaholic and when he gets home from work it is an unsaid rule to leave him alone for the most part so he can relax and sleep or else watch out for a temper tantrum until he calms down. Normally its too late anyway and he has already broken something. My mother just makes sure he is relaxed and has eaten and massages if he needs it then he goes off and does whatever he wants without much to do with spending much time with my mother. He has no friends too nor does he seem to care that he doesnt have any. His excuse I guess is no time or energy for that or just doesnt care enough.

Is your BPD ex or romantic partner anything like your parents? If so, in what way?

My father was abusive, lied all the time, complete hypocrite and never wrong. He was the victim to end all victims.

So was my BPD - x !

I think we all marry one of our parents. I remember my mother said she thought she could help my father and make him happy. Of course, that's what I spent most of my time doing with my BPD.

no. but its not always that any given partner is overtly like one of your parents or both, but we all to varying degrees have "childhood wounds", and we often select partners that fit, in one way or another, unconsciously, with those wounds.

i saw this recently: www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html

its a bit cynical but a great deal of it spoke to me :)

Not always the case of wounds. It could be that people choose partners similar to one of their parents because growing up with your parents you get used to a certain way things are done and finding a partner who does things similarly is comforting.