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Having a difficult day today. Brought out a quilt I am doing with my granddaughters pictures on it. I wonder if I will ever see them again. My daughter has disowned me and emailed me that  I will never see her or the girls again. She has stopped speaking to me before, one time for a year. She has treated me terribly. There was no way that I was ever able to enforce boundaries on her. Just bringing up the subject would have caused her to get very angry and stop having contact with me. I sent presents to the girls for Christmas but she returned them to me. I am hoping to have this quilt done by Valentines Day but I wonder if she will return it to me if I send it. In one way, it is good not to have contact since I don't have to be cautious about every word that I say and never know when she will go overboard being angry. However, I miss my granddaughters a lot. They are 12 and 14 years old. I am afraid that she is poisoning their minds about me and will end up hating me like she does.

Hi Distressed Mothe:

Sorry about the situation with your daughter. What were the circumstances when the prior episode of the "silent treatment" ended? Did you send something to her at that time?

What lead up to the current no contact episode?

Distressed Mom, your story is almost identical tyo mine. My daughter has caught off contact with me. I have 2 granddaughters, 8 and 6. I miss them so much. She ended contact with me because I told her no when she asked me to sign for an apt. For her.  She stopped talking to me before when I said no to a car, but I ended up selling her my car. She owes $5000 and she's paid $200 during the last 10 months. It's a long story. I've been helping her for about 9 years. Given her thousands of dolars. I'm kinda enjoying the peace and quiet in my life, but I really miss my granddaughters.

I can so relate to you. In the past, I wrote her emails begging her to let me in her life. In one instance, I left a message that my mother was having open heart surgery and I was not sure she would make it. She returned my call and said that she could not come because she was pregnant. I asked her when the baby was due and she told me in 10 days. Her husband was leaving for a new job the day after she got out of the hospital. She had to wait to drive to where he was - Massachusetts to Florida - with her 2 year old and infant. I told her she was crazy. I ended up staying with her for 6 weeks and taking her to Florida. Paid for everything, of course. This time she is not speaking to me because I told my granddaughter, 14,  not to talk back to me. I also filed for divorce from her father after not being able to take his abuse anymore. She went crazy about that! This time, I refuse to contact her. It hurts to think that I may not see my granddaughters anymore. I felt very close to them.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through  I have to hold on to the hope  that I will see my granddaughters some day. I am not contacting her. Shortly after she ended contact, I texted her and asked if I could speak to the girls. No response. Then I texted her on older granddaughter's birthday and asked to speak to her. No response. I've sent birthday gifts and Christmas gifts to a friend's house no response. I'm not trying any more.  I did send her a happy birthday text on her birthday. She replied thank you mom. I'm trying to focus on my life.