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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: rarsweet on January 08, 2017, 08:31:41 PM



Title: After
Post by: rarsweet on January 08, 2017, 08:31:41 PM
Do you ever look at the ex years after and feel smug? They are a mess and you have done well?


Title: Re: After
Post by: talks to angels on January 08, 2017, 08:36:48 PM
Everytime I see a pic, I am reminded of how low I lowered my standards


Title: Re: After
Post by: Octy on January 08, 2017, 09:30:40 PM
I hope so. I'm still at the point of not being able to find anyone as attractive. Not above the hope that the Hyde side of her comes out in her new marriage because image is huge for her and if it doesn't work out, her vain side will be crushed. I'm so petty at this point. I don't wish her any negativity except that this behind my back cultivated relationship (now marriage) doesn't work out. Then I hope she wins the lottery, finds love and I never hear from her again.


Title: Re: After
Post by: Turkish on January 09, 2017, 01:01:22 AM
It's it a surprise to you on your specific situation that you've done well and he's not?


Title: Re: After
Post by: rarsweet on January 09, 2017, 04:40:09 AM
Yes, it is a surprise. I am 3 months away from graduating college. I started after we broke up, I am graduating early. Today I start a training to get certified as a recovery coach. The closer I get to graduating the more it hits me what I have accomplished since our break up. He is, maybe still homeless, I am not sure. He hasn't done a thing since we broke up. I think I expected him to find away to get ahead while I would be stressed and overwhelmed.


Title: Re: After
Post by: rarsweet on January 09, 2017, 05:02:01 AM
I had met my abusive ex husband while still in high school. I had dropped out half way into senior year. I met ex 2 years after my divorce. While I always worked I had never really done anything with my life. After our break up I decided to just take the pre test to get a high school equivalency. I tested in the 96th percentile, 14 years since being out of school. I took the test and enrolled in college. I am graduating 6 months early and just declared my major for my second degree. I made Dean's List, while working two jobs. being a completely single parent, racked up quite a few certificates, am on the Board of Directors for the highest quality family resource center in our state, am now teaching domestic violence and sexual assault prevention tips on the side, and now recovery coach training. And I have managed to still breastfeed for 30 months and still going, even though he hated me breastfeeding!When I see him in passing he looks like he has aged 10 years in 2, his skin looks grey. Sometimes I want to gloat and other times I feel guilty for it. But sometimes we aren't completely destroyed by our experiences with them.


Title: Re: After
Post by: Pretty Woman on January 09, 2017, 08:49:56 AM
I have no way of knowing how my ex is doing other than checking out FB which I try not to do (I am blocked on there).
I will say my life has improved 150% since our break up. I lost over 80lbs, got a wonderful pet I love to death, got a pay increase and my job is going places.

In the greater scheme of things it doesn't really matter how she's doing. Maybe she got some treatment and her life is improving. I wish that for her. I am just glad she isn't a part of my "now".

I used to wish she would come back. I would never take her back at this point. I wouldn't jeopardize all I have which is pretty darn awesome.