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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Dontknow88 on January 10, 2017, 08:15:03 PM



Title: It takes time but you will be fine
Post by: Dontknow88 on January 10, 2017, 08:15:03 PM
After months of confusion while being a newly single mother a month before giving birth I can truthfully say I made it!.

Educating myself here. I'm over the break up that was exactly a year ago. My only issue is I have to deal with him cause he's my child's father. Ohhhh how I can see he will disappoint our son beyond the normal child disappointments. Ugh.


I just wanted to post this to let you know that you will move on. Educate yourself, live life and love yourself


Title: Re: It takes time but you will be fine
Post by: gotbushels on January 19, 2017, 08:03:45 AM
Hi Dontknow88 

How is educating yourself? :)

In what ways do you mean he will disappoint this child?


Title: Re: It takes time but you will be fine
Post by: mmcnulty on January 19, 2017, 08:12:45 AM
I suggest you begin to set boundaries on behalf of your child as soon as possible.  The child won't have any idea how to protect themselves.


Title: Re: It takes time but you will be fine
Post by: SettingBorders on January 19, 2017, 08:48:28 AM
  I am so happy to hear this!
You seem content and powerfull. One can read this between the lines.

I am interested in the process of separating: Did you go though some phases of wanting him back?
How is the relationship with your ex now? How often to you need to see him?

Best wishes!


Title: Re: It takes time but you will be fine
Post by: Dontknow88 on January 19, 2017, 05:05:36 PM
 I am so happy to hear this!
You seem content and powerfull. One can read this between the lines.

I am interested in the process of separating: Did you go though some phases of wanting him back?
How is the relationship with your ex now? How often to you need to see him?

Best wishes!

I did want him back (while in the confusion)  after educating myself (research)  that's when I realized that it was an unhealthy relationship to begin with, his  cycles, his instability, how I seen how he handles problems, him being a child, "moving on" himself and completely change to her liking most likely what he did for me showed me that isn't a person I want. We broke up a year ago and I haven't wanted him for 8 months and never will. The way I look at it is that It could have been worse eg him killing us.

I do not talk him if it doesn't have to do with the baby, and I don't need or want to see him. When he wants to see our child it will be supervised and me not around as I requested .



Life is way better without him and freeing! I do feel sorry for our son though and sadly he may see the real him


Title: Re: It takes time but you will be fine
Post by: Dontknow88 on January 19, 2017, 05:07:11 PM
I suggest you begin to set boundaries on behalf of your child as soon as possible.  The child won't have any idea how to protect themselves.

Any suggestions?
We are doing a separation agreement and I'm getting sole custady and he only gets supervised acces.



Title: Re: It takes time but you will be fine
Post by: Dontknow88 on January 19, 2017, 05:09:33 PM
Hi Dontknow88 

How is educating yourself? :)

In what ways do you mean he will disappoint this child?

Lots and lots of research on the illness

Well if our son gets to see the "real" him. See him during a breakdown. I'm sure