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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Ex-wife on January 12, 2017, 10:11:05 PM



Title: My ex wont let me see my child.
Post by: Ex-wife on January 12, 2017, 10:11:05 PM
My ex-husband who I believe is borderline... .lied in court... .told the judge I was crazy... .Has physical custody.  He refuses to let me see my daughter... has moved away and his family are being very secretive.  They are defending his behavior.  What can I do?  The court system and lawyers have been very unhelpful.  He paints the  picture of a Christian upright citizen.  Both he and his lawyer are unethical and the judge eats it up.  I am out of money and have just about given up on ever seeing my daughter again.


Title: Re: My ex wont let me see my child.
Post by: Turkish on January 12, 2017, 10:35:18 PM
As a father of two,  I can't imagine going through this... .but I'm glad you reached out for support. 

What's the current custody order say, specifically about visitation,  and how old is your daughter?


Title: Re: My ex wont let me see my child.
Post by: ForeverDad on January 19, 2017, 08:45:46 PM
There is only one valid reason for a parent to have contact with his or her children blocked... .documented and substantive child abuse, child endangerment or child neglect.  Even then there are usually options for some sort of structured or supervised visitation.

What does the court order say?  Does it actually say no contact?  What are the exceptions?  Does it allow for periodic visits usually not less frequent than alternate weekends, standard alternate holiday visits, standard 1 or 2 week vacation notices, up to a total of maybe 3 weeks per year?  Were you able to present your side?  Did you have legal support such as a lawyer?  Was there a Custody Evaluation or children's services investigation?

Even if you weren't treated fairly in court, never give up.  You can seek to improve the order, if not now, then after a period of time.  Being blocked does not have to be forever.

I would guess that he moved away so the distance would put you at a greater disadvantage.

Please give us some more details.  We have a vast storehouse of hard-won collective wisdom.  We're pretty good at sharing what usually works and what usually doesn't work.  Give us some more details to chew on and you'll be amazed at strategies we may come up with.  We don't have legal advice but we're very good with practical ideas and hope in peer support.