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Hey all!
My heart just fell out of my chest! I had recently over the holidays texted my ex to wish a merry Christmas... Hadn't heard from him since. Out of the blue, I just see in the heading my ex's new girlfriend has sent me 4 emails with pictures!

I haven't opened them... I'm afraid they will be very hurtful. What to do? Is this to hurt me or triangulation?
Thank u
Aldactone

Wow! That takes real self control not to open. My suggestion is to immediately delete without looking. If they are pics she could be sending ones of them happily together and that could trigger. That is more than likely she is pointing out that they are together and you should not be contacting him.  No real good could come of it. If you look at it like even if they are having issues, knowing how your ex is, you do not want to be in the middle at all.

It is safer to delete them, obviously. But if you aren't sure, here are some thoughts about it:

With pics, it most likely is "Things are good with me and your ex" type stuff. It could be done in a truly awful and malicious way on her part. (Perhaps because your ex painted you black, and she believed your ex, and thinks you "deserve it"

Perhaps she is clueless but isn't trying to hurt you, just trying to share the joy in her life with you. It still is clueless and insensitive on her part, and probably won't feel any better for you.

Another possibility is that she's now upset with your ex and wants to compare notes with you about how horrible he is or how badly she's being treated.

Lastly, it could be a fearful/territorial thing because she's afraid your ex will cheat with you / recycle with you... .and who knows what she would send you like that.

Any way you slice it, I wouldn't trust her to be either wise or kind--Otherwise she wouldn't have hooked up with your ex, and wouldn't be sending you this sort of email.


You have to decide for yourself whether knowing or not knowing will bug you more.

Q: Do you have any direct relationship with your ex's GF, or just through him?

Hi LL, I agree it would be safer emotionally to delete them, however, I can imagine that would be very difficult. It's likely they are photos of the both of them happily together. He's obviously let her know that you contacted him and it's highly likely, if he's anything like my ex, that he is now using this as an opportunity to show her how in demand he is. She could be feeling threatened and insecure. Can you recall times when he made you feel insecure by mentioning other women? Trying to triangulate you with them?

Just remembered something. Early in the relationship mine told me that an ex girlfriend of his had made contact and invited him to go around for coffee. He wondered if I’d mind if he went, on a platonic basis he said. I understandably felt uncomfortable with that giving he also said that she still wanted him. I remember thinking at the time wth was he saying all this for. In the end, I said I’d prefer it if he didn’t go and he didn’t or at least I don’t think he did. I can see now that he was trying to make me jealous and afraid. This is likely what your ex is doing to his new girlfriend. But, the most important thing here is YOU. Only open them if you can handle it. Otherwise, please delete them.You don't need any more hurt.

Have a trusted friend open, read and then delete for you. S/he can gently inform you of contents and then get rid of them.