BPDFamily.com

Divorcing my husband and I need time to get things together. Please help me to stay sane in the process. I need tips. Thanks!

 

Divorce sucks.

Divorce with a personality disorder involved really sucks.

But we've all been through it and came out the other side OK.   

Do you have any kiddos?

I'm an engineer, so I figure things out.  Through my divorce one thing I learned, do what you need to do to combat your BP, but don't spend a lot of time trying to "figure them out."  Spent a lot of time reading up on BP, etc.  What I really needed to be doing was to draw up a plan that helped me maintain control throughout the process rather than follow my exBPs lead.  The latter is what happened and I was behind the entire four year process.  I should have been researching and reading up on the legal aspects of the divorce process.  Now I also "thought" that the court would be interested in some of the horrible things I had documented with ex's behavior.  I was wrong about that too.   

 

Bill Eddy's book Splitting is a good place to start. It is about high conflict divorce.

Can you tell us more of your story? Children? How long married?

Glad you found us!

 

It's good you're giving yourself time to prepare. Time and planning made all the difference in my case.

There are lots of people here who will walk with you and share tips.

You're not alone  :)

LnL

How has life been the last couple weeks?  Please come back.  We've "been there, done that" and have an immense volume of collective experience to share, what usually works versus what usually doesn't work, strategies versus surprises, actions versus reactions, etc.

The more educated about BPD and methods to distance yourself from the impact of BPD behaviors, then the more informed and more confident your decisions will be.  Posting here with anonymous but experienced peer support is priceless. :thought: