BPDFamily.com

So hi and I'll be brief.

I'm thinking I'm healthy and then I remembered her saying she'll be the one with the red lipstick and high heels being silly & making me breakfast when I'm 89 and I smile.
We'll my ex finally went completely NC. I was here a few months ago but couldn't remember my username or password.  Anyway, good for her. I'm very proud of her. She proved to me she is strong. Always said these weakening thing about herself but it was the BPD. We had our horrible time together and all but she conquered.
This is probably not appropriate for those who are currently going through a tough time detaching but I promise you, I'm here now smiling and feeling proud but not at all where I was emotionally just a few months ago.  I can smile now and not feel anger behind it. Maybe a little regret but who wouldn't.  I don't have to wonder what because I know. I don't have to hate nor embrace the honeymoon phase. I no longer feel triggered by every red car I see.  Memories linger but don't injure.

However, I'm not 100℅.  I will be and that's all that matters. The air feels different. Not feeling 100 like my old self either but I don't think i want to be my old self. Nothing horribly wrong with my old self. I'm fun. Just that the old me was open for drama because I could handle all. but as it turns out, I'm only human. Not super human after all.
I can say, I was out of control. I misbehave but i was out looking for a thing andI found it. Or maybe that thing found me. Life!
Simple but I hope it makes some type of sense to someone. I'm just one.

Thank you folks

Hi RedCar, your post gives me such hope that one of these days I’ll look back at this chaotic experience and it won’t matter so much anymore. Thanks for posting and I wish you continued progress and much happiness. :)